I’m craving some sweets. A doughnut, milkshake or ice cream sundae. (my cravings usually go towards savory or salt.) I wonder where my sweetie got herself off to today… I’m just chillin’. Got my chores done, and will do my laundry tomorrow.

Absolutely Innocent According to Way He Explained it, but Judge Was Doubtful.

The other evening a man of the burglar type stepped up to an old gentleman and, handing him a piece of paper, said:

“Sir, would you be good enough to read me the writing on this piece of paper?”

The individual addressed consented and, moving toward the rays of a convenient gas lamp, read the following words:

“If you utter a cry or speak a single word I shall shoot you. give me your watch and chain and your purse at once then pass it on.”

Completely taken off his guard, the gentleman handed over the articles asked for and walked off. A few steps brought him to a policeman, and, relating his story, the pair proceeded in pursuit of the stranger, who was not yet out of sight.

Next morning, before the magistrate, the vagrant was called upon for an explanation.

“Your honor,” he said, “I am not an educated man, and, therefore, can neither read nor write. Last evening I picked up a piece of paper, and, it striking me that it might be of some importance, I took it to the first person I met and asked him to decipher it. The gentleman read it quietly to himself and then, without saying a word, handed me his watch, chain and purse and walked off without giving me time to recover from my surprise or ask him what it meant.”

Minnetonka Record, January 23, 1914

Some Outside Reading…

• Project Gutenberg
• The Internet Archive
• NewspaperArchive
• The Long Now Foundation
• American Memory
• The Obscure Store & Reading Room

Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley