The Scotto Grotto (org)

Like any other type of relationship, employee/employee relationships can become abusive. If you analyze the reasons why people stay with particular companies or in particular jobs, and compare them to the reasons women stay with abusive men, the similarities are disturbing. To whit:

Many abusive men play on the woman’s self esteem; I’m the best you’re going to get, who else is going to accept you the way you are, you’re lucky to have me, where else are you going to go?

Some companies do the same thing; where else are you going to find a job in this field, you don’t really know how to do anything else, are you really up to competing in today’s job market against people younger/smarter/more educated than you?

Abusive males also typically have some sort of financial hold over the women they victimize. The women can’t afford a place of their own, or even a bus ticket. They feel they can’t leave, even if they want to, yet conversely feel some degree of fear that the man will throw them out onto the street.

Abusive companies do the same; who’s going to pay you what you’re making now? Who else offers these sorts of benefits? Can you afford to quit? What would happen if you got fired? How will you pay the bills?

Many companies, like abusive spouses, often offer incentives to get you to stay and boost your morale; a free lunch, swag like t-shirts and baseball tickets, even kind words and pats on the back. But these are typically empty promises. One day it’s a tender kiss that takes you back to the days when the relationship was new and full of promise, the next day you’re back to getting smacked in the mouth.

Unfortunately, while there are several organizations available to help women escape abusive relationships, there are none that I’m aware of set up to assist employees fleeing abusive employers. Sure, employment agencies will help you find a new job, but they won’t shelter you until you’re back on your feet; that’s like a battered spouse seeking help from a dating service. And if you did ask for that type of assistance, you’d likely get a snide response along the lines of “You’re an adult, no one’s making you stay, why don’t you just quit?“, words the same people might find shocking were they uttered to an abused woman taking flight.

And people wonder why I’m glad Wally’s gone. It’s like the abusive boyfriend of a good pal (Most of the upper management, really) had just been kicked out, and gotten a restraining order. I’m mighty happy about that.