An old woman thinks a dog looks like her husband, so she gives it a cigar and cane, and a golf club.

“I am not your husband,” said the dog. “I am a dog.”

“But you look like my husband”, said the woman.

“But I am not your husband”, said the dog.

“You keep saying that,” said the woman. “But you are wrong, wrong, wrong. I have seen you drive a family sedan and read the sports section and belch and watch football and earn money and take out the garbage and make love and raise children and drink beer like my husband. ”

“But I bark like a dog!”, said the dog.

“You bark like my husband.”, said the woman.

The Dignified Way to Vomit

Remain standing.
With right hand, hold cocktail to the side at arm’s length.
Bow deeply at the waist.
Include all regurgitation in one retch.
Resume upright position.
Use left hand to wipe mouth with handkerchief (not toilet paper).
Take another drink.

How much would CAN a woodchuck chuck?

Why, however many boards the Mongol Hordes horde when they get bored and horde boards!

coterminous & brigadoon

coterminous koh-TUR-muh-nuhs, adjective:
1. Having the same or coincident boundaries.
2. Having the same scope, range of meaning, duration.

Coterminous is from Latin conterminus, from com-, “together; with” + terminus, “boundary.”

brigadoon BRIG-uh-doon noun:

An idyllic place that is out of touch with reality or one that makes its appearance for a brief period in a long time.

[From Brigadoon, a village in the musical of the same name, by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe, based on the story Germelshausen by Friedrich Gerstacker. Brigadoon is under a curse that makes it invisible to outsiders except on one day every 100 years.]

Yummeh!

My sweetie is a real hot patootie!

*fans self… drove me 25 kinds of crazy before I lost count…. and gooood crazy. 🙂

Isn’t there a rule against girls being smart, funny, sexy, beautiful, and lovable, all at once? (not that I mind she breaks it. :))

Well, I’m going to bed… night all!