evil news

El Dildo Bandito Strikes!
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A string of brightly colored ceramic penises that dangled from a clothesline in a controversial artwork titled “Hanging ‘Em Out to Dry” was stolen Saturday morning from the Boulder Public Library, police said. In its place hung an American flag and a note: “El Dildo Bandito was here.”

UPDATE!: LJ account of the dildo bandito here!
UPDATE!: ceramic weiners recovered!

Almost Too Much Porn For University of Toronto
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After CBC’s Max Allen donated material, university grappled with what to do next

At the University of Toronto, behind a door marked “Do Not Enter — Alarmed Directly To The Toronto Police Service,” two students are cataloguing what may be one of the largest collections of modern pornography in Canada. Neither seems particularly alarmed.

While one inputs the information into a computer, the other is nonchalantly reading out the titles of videotapes that fill a dozen shelves: Never Enough, New Meat, Night Magic, Dirty Minutes, Peep Show, Plain Brown Wrapper, Spank Your Buddy.

They are working under the supervision of Professor Brian Pronger, of the faculty of physical education, who is gratified to see that the porn videos have a particularly large historic sweep. “Some of it is from Italy and goes back to the earliest days of filmmaking — there’s one that I’m guessing is from 1910 or 1915 because it’s very jerky,” says the professor. “Oh, I guess I shouldn’t use that word.”

Scotland Makes Bid For Shallowest Country
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Men hate shopping, a survey of 18 to 24-year-old men has confirmed. So a Scottish shopping centre has set out to attract their girlfriends by offering “surrogate boyfriends” who will accompany the ladies during their spending spree. The surrogates have vowed to admire and compliment the lady shoppers, to be enthusiastic and attentive. In a related bid to mollify the potentially jealous, young men, the centre has set up a men-only “recharge zone” where the grown-up boys can stay and play video games and table football or read men’s magazines.

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