the reprint:

Scotto does not like April fool’s day jokes.

I have been known to go wookie on folks (that I don’t love… my brother and girlfriend could probably get away with it, but they’re too sweet to do so) that play them on me, or hurt those I love with them. Practical Jokes just aren’t funny.

So, fair warning, people of Earth. Don’t monkey with me, because I will enforce a karmic retribution so heinous and vile, you’ll wonder how I was kept from being locked up for this long.

An old newspaper clipping form my days as a midget wrestler… before my growth spurt ruined my career.

ah, sadly the text is lost, but a photo remains. when puberty hit, my body sprouted a bushel of hair (I’ve had the goatee since infancy…) and I grew another 3 and a half feet inside of a year. Ah well…wrestling is fake and for yahoos anyway. 🙂

My old gear –

Apprentice
From: Boston, Mass
Entrance: Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Height: 4’3″
Weight: 70
Finisher + Description: Spinning Splash. A Snuka type splash with 180 degree rotation.
Style: high flyer
Description: Pointed hat, blue cape, weightlifter tights (all blue with yellow stars), sandals.
Medical: Achondroplasia
Quote:I’m drinking my milk! One day, you’ll be sorry!

There IS a wrong way to eat a Reese’s Peanut-Butter Cup.

i wish i was a glow worm
a glowworm’s never glum
’cause how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

Thus Endeth the reprint. I think I’m a softer bear this year. If someone pulls a dumb ol’ gag on me this year, I’ll just say to the offender “You know, you should think twice about that stuff… someone might take it the wrong way, and do something awful to you in return.” in an earnest, friendly (and non-threatening) voice, and let it drop from there. I don’t have as much of a growly streak as I had a year ago. I thank my sweetheart for that… However, I’m still quite defensive of those I care for. Strong paternal instincts, I guess. (Or maybe even maternal, where Newt is concerned.) I’ll still go wookie on the behalf of my beloved.