Mar 11, 2000

Chicken Littles or at least, those with the brains of chickens are scooting frantically about trying to warn us all that on May 5 of this year, The World Will End. They predict earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanic activity, flooding and even ice-cap meltage on a vast scale (or, as they tend to put it, “Earth changes”, which is a term broad enough that it covers anything, pretty much, which of couse allows them to seem accurate). The reason, according to them, is that several planets in our solar system will be more or less in alignment, a pretty darn uncommon event in almost all circumstances. This alignment (or syzygy) will include our own Moon, the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn and will actually encompass a little over 25 degrees of arc, which really isn’t that significant to begin with. This alignment, according to the pebble-brained catastrophists, will result in huge gravitational tidal forces, which will of course result in… yep, “Earth changes”. Never mind the fact that the computer terminal at which you sit as you read this exerts more gravitational influence on you than Jupiter does. There are plenty of idiots out there panicking over this, and when nothing happens, they won’t learn anything; they’ll find something new to panic about.