Dark Days – a documentary looks fascinating, in the limited amount of things I’ve seen about it. Things about the homeless are of special interest to me, and this looks remarkable.

warning to dial-up folks… the flash loads *SLOW*.

Missing Ornj… hope she’s having fun, wherever she is!

🙂 *big hugs* in her direction.

ever wonder what you were, before you were you?

here’s the thing… matter is never created nor destroyed, only transformed… (mostly, according to comtemporary physics…)

I would love to trace back to my inorganic origins, and find where they were, before comprising my body….

How much of my body was a chunk of a dinosaur, before feeding plants, animals, and so on, before being integrated into my system?

What protien was my father’s sperm, before it was sperm? a donut? a steak?

how many other human bodies are actually *part* of my body? these atoms have been around… the skin cells in my little finger possibly were part of a meteroite that hit earth years ago…

Where will my pieces go, or for that matter have gone? dust mites are chewing on us all, flaking little bits off all the time… I’m sure Newt has some of what was once my skin in his system, now, as I’d wager I have his.

ink from old tattoos, bits of glass, redwood tree, a scrap of an ancient chastity belt, a shard from a tiger’s tooth, … who knows where these pieces were…

If you follow the big bang theory, or any idea that all comes from the same place, be it by design, accident or somewhere in between it still means the same to me… we’re all made of the same stuff. I love that idea.

Spanish Caught for Not Being Retarded.

Oh, boy, reminds me of last night’s game of AOK…

why pose as players of one level, when you’re actually at another?

I was playing in a rookie AOK game last night, and twice speedy-players were there wreaking havoc on the newbies, despite the disclamer, and comments to agreeing to playing on a learning-curve level.

One reason that leaps to mind is “winning is what counts”, and if the only way you can win is by hitting folks that aren’t in the same league, what’s the point? I can kick any beginner’s tush at go-moku or chess, but I’d much rather teach someone how to play, and be challenged later. Where’s the glory of beating someone who’s still learning the game, or just totally isn’t on the same skill level?

Happily, my co-player bailed out of the game, and I followed suit… depriving them of a ‘vicotry’.

My big gripe with MSN is the amount of socially inept, rude and impatient folks that are there. Fortunately they’re in the minority, albeit a vocal and annoying one.

I look forward to honing my AOK2 skill more with good folk in the coming times ahead…

by the way, Tarpo… this CD rocks the party… it’s had me run the gamut from joy, grief, and glee.

Happy Birfday eebomb!!

Happy Birfday Lianna!!

*bug hugs all around*

I was restless again last night… hit the sack at 10:30, and was uneasy, unfocused and unhappy. Bad mojo was in the air, I read part of the night, not absorbing any of it, absently hugging the kitty. Brain fried from the hellweek, I think. I need to get back into a sleep schedule.

anyhow, as I had hours and hours before work today, I got out, did my walk and donated blood… played with newt when I got home, until 11:30, when I left for work.

I just heard through the grapevine that we might be closed friday, and monday. Well, I’m not going to work the next two mondays… Christmas and New Years… sakes, no. It’ll be sweet to get Friday off, though… I’ll be able to get back to paces.

going to bed.

I’ll see you kids tomorrow, and tomorrow is a new day.

pressure bleeding off, talked to my dear heart, and regular hours tomorrow. oh, to be human (or at least a yeti) again.

7pm, and I’m home. hoohah! while I wait for an opening at AOK, I can start catching up with all the hullaballo I’ve been missing since a week ago…got my card from nashata today, and it’s quite spiffy… thanks kiddo! *hug*

I hope you’re all doing well, and that only good stuff has been happening… forgive me for being unable to stay up to date.

from my archives – 5 years ago today. 12/19/1995. – (one day, I’ll bring all my journals together.but for now, it’s cut and paste) I searched for the word ‘autistic’, and this was among what came up.

I once read an autobiographical book by an autistic woman who makes a living designing efficient USDA-approved slaughterhouses. I can’t remember the author -or- the title, but it was very interesting… she tackled the problem of why there were “good” slaughterhouses and “bad” slaughterhouses that cows going through the process would somehow react differently to even though, in some cases, they were designed almost exactly the same way.

Also, the author talked at length about what it’s like being autistic (every case is different, but there are some common things that are different between austistics and non-autistic people)– for instance, how her memory worked (almost like a slideshow) and interesting social experiences. For instance, it was only when she was fourteen at a friend’s party that she realized that a lot of social interaction was deeply affected by your emotions, and not just going along with the normal ‘mind your manners’ routines; and as of the writing of the book she still didn’t understand the concept of ‘love’.

-end snip.

I remember reading the book, and the name of both still eludes me. ah well.

Alfie: The Christmas Tree

by John Denver

Did you ever hear the story of the Christmas Tree
who just didn’t want to change the show
He liked living in the woods and playing with squirrels
He liked icicles and snow.

He liked wolves and eagles and grizzly bears
and critters and creatures that crawled
Why bugs were some of his very best friends
Spiders and ants and all.

Now that’s not to say that he ever looked down
on the vision of twinkling lights
Or on mirrored bubbles and peppermint canes
And a thousand other delights

And he often had dreams of tiny reindeer
and a jolly old man and a sleigh full of toys
and presents and wonderful things
And the story of Christmas Day

Oh, Alfie believed in Chrismas all right
He was full of Christmas cheer
All of each and every day
and all throughout the year

To him it was more than a special time
much more than a special day
It was more than a beautiful story
It was a special kind of way

You see, some folks have never heard a jingle bell ring
And they’ve never heard of Santa Claus
They’ve never heard the story of the son of God
And that made Alfie pause.

Did that mean that they’d never know of peace on earth
or the brotherhood of man
Or know how to love, or know how to give
If they can’t…no one can.

You see, life is a very special kind of thing
not just for a chosen few
But for each and every living breathing thing
Not just me and you

So in your Christmas prayers this year
Alfie asked me if I’d ask you
Say a prayer for the wind, and the water, and the wood
And those who live there, too.

Ideally, tomorrow will be a normal shift, if the guy makes it back from vacation in time.

Feeling better today, but I’m tired. I was expecting a good sleep, but it was not terribly restful. I got home about 1:30 am or so, came back in at 8:30. A shame that I’m not being paid for my efforts, but that’s the life of a salary man, I suppose. Mayhap there’ll be bonuses at my next job… or I can claim that I can’t work more than 10 hours a day due to spiritual reasons. (it certainly has been tossing water on my flame, lately…)

Really looking forward to next week… with any luck, it should be slow, and I can climb back aboard the writing boat more in-depth.

Vampires and Carnivores were threatening my cow intelligence network last night. I should give up Elsie… she’s making claims that I don’t imagine are true….

I miss Ornj… dreamed I was working with her on a project… some kind of wood working thing, roses and vines for a bigger object, benches of some sort. Will post the whole dream from my notebook tonight, if time allows.

Another sign that Scotto is part sissy-girl:

Weeps at Christmas songs. My face runneth over with tears. At a friggin’ muppet song… ‘Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas’. What a big baby.

Missing my dad…a lot. It hurts, a lot.
Stupid… I should be remembering the good times, and having a smile on my face, happy to have had so many. That’s not what’s happening… I’m remembering the good times, and realising there won’t be any more with him, ever.

It’s been over a decade… when does this shit get easier? It still creeps up on me, and hits like a ton of bricks.

The lines to the song… “let your heart be light, troubles will be miles away…”

*long, sad, sobbing sigh*

Tears are what are needed now, I guess… smiles will follow, as spring follows winter.

today and tomorrow, that’s it. that’s enough.

Print server is broken. Today is going to be a less than stellar day, I sense. Had a nice night yesterday, wrapped up the evening with some AOK2. The kids that play at the zone are so high-strung, and rude… people just drop out without warning, or yell at new players… not a kindly way to act. I do look forward to a big 4v4 match though, especailly with my capable cohort in AOKing by my side. 🙂 even 2v2v2v2 would be quite spiffy.

anyhoo, back to work… I’ve got lots to do. (with in between times of very little).

be back later!

personalized action figures

I wonder how cool that would be for someone’s wedding… give out action figures of the bride and groom….

thanks Zoe!

Well, me blimey buckos, the day’s over, the pain is past and I feel like singing a LJ chantey.
Be lively, now, me Bonnie Raitts. Arr!
Ohh, slow Ell-Jay down, laddie, slow LJ down,
Way-hey! slow LJ down,
We’ll scuttle the server and run ‘er aground,
We’ll try so hard to slow LJ down.
Ohh, slow LJ down, laddie, slow LJ down,
Way-hey! slow LJ down,
With SQL, Timelag, and over-search clowns,
we’ll try so hard to slow LJ down.

I yam what I yam.