According to theseInternet Usage Stats from January, the average Internet user goes online 28 times a month, spends 30 minutes online per session, but only visits 19 unique sites per month. That seems freakishly low, but it might indicate that once Internet users find the sites that they like to use, they rarely deviate. Or it might be that many users use the Internet just to get to AOL or Yahoo! to chat or IM, or LJ….. What do you think accounts for that low number of site visits per month? Got any proof? How many sites do you visit per month?

Whinge.

Aggravated.

I come into work with a soft headache… 10 min go by, and it’s a skull cracker. I get a few ‘must dos’ out of the way, and waiting to go home. I swear, the folks here don’t care if I’m bleeding to death… I’m about 7 seconds away form just walking out…. I’m getting tense, and my lower back is starting to twinge now, too.

I need to get Tylenol (uber-strength) and liquids before getting home. I’m already photosensitive. to add insult to injury, I’m getting anxious. A little tweaked. I need sleep and a purring kitty.

I’ve had enough. I’m going.

I wanna ride a plastic plate.

But… there is no snow here, and I have to work, anyway.

I suppose I’ll settle for morning walkies. Going to do the 5 mile hike.

Reflecting on the children’s story… what was I afraid of as a child? Monsters weren’t too scary, but there were a few exceptions..
The bathroom held a few things.. I thought a rat or a snake might leap out of the bowl at any minute as a child. I didn’t have a bogeyman, or a closet monster, or a brain-sucking zombie that chased me… I was more afraid of mundane creatures… especially poisonous ones.. snakes again… large spiders.

It’s 2am, so I’m going to free-associate for a moment, and then go to bed. my head is a little dozey. I’ll see what I make of this in the morning. I’m half-asleep so this will most likely make no sense. begin.

nothing printable comes to mind. I want to tell secrets. I want to rat out some folks that were very evil, and I want to expose some meanies for who they are… I want to say my girls name here. I want to confess to something I shouldn’t. wondering who actually reads my journal, and how many of them do so without linking… oh, too tired. going to bed.

end.

woo.

Is it normal for a male to have fantasies of raising a child with a woman? another in my long list of reasons I think somebody slipped me a spare X chromosome. I think of my with her in a year, 5 years, 20 years… and whatever comes with it..I think that once we were together, a baby would follow quickly…for she’s not only a brilliant and loving woman, but I find her to be fantastically beautiful and erotic. I imagine in a short span there’d be a little girl with my blue eyes and her red hair & fair skin… I wonder what sort of parent I’d be, and what sort of partners my love and I would be like… we synch up a lot, and I feel we have pretty similar values, too. I wonder how we’d balance out discipline and the desire to have fun…

Is there such a thing as a ‘paternal instinct’? I think of the joy that would come from helping to create a life… to nurture it, assist in it growing, watching it blossom… going through the good times and bad. I imagine the pride in my love’s eyes as the munchkin takes first steps, says first words… reading with them at night, helping with homework, being there for them.

I also think about my love as we’d grow older together… maybe having grandchildren. (mind you, I’m picturing that 20-25 years from now… )

I don’t know… all I do know is that I love her more and more every day.

Welcome to my wall scrawls.