More of the same…

April seems to be determined to squiggle out of going to the doctor. I pushed a little today, mainly because I feel that she needs to see him. Latest excuse (of many) is : I want to wait until I get paid to go, I don’t want you to pay for it. Heck, I told her, I spend hundreds of dollars on her for frivolous stuff, the important stuff, if you want, pay me back. Nope! No dice. I should just blow it off, but I’m concerned for her well-being. I also have to make an appointment with the doc about my bronchitis kicking up again… (Teach me to date a smoker. bleah.) Well, at least Newton is healthy. Actually, on thinking about it, I’m going to hit the doc sometime after friday, I’ll call and make an appointment now. The best way to lead is by example, right? Hm. Here’s some more wirting for those of you that don’t care about the Scotto-soap opera. but first a mini-rant. My pal Alex moved to San Jose a few months ago. He assured me that we’d stay in contact, etc,etc. I saw him on AIM once and he was quite brief, then took off. From what I understand he’s still in frequent contact with Heather, daily, I think. It sort of irks me, but it falls into my current situation in ‘meatspace’. If a person moves away, and is not bound by blood ties, I lose contact with them. I don’t know if I attract lazy friends & aquaintances, or if it’s just the way things are, but I thought that friends kept in touch? anyhow, enough of that noise. I met Erin last night here, and she’s a pleasant and witty girl, who shares my interest in gigglecam, and all things nifty like that.

And now:

Half-light
==========

If you took all the hours
I should have been asleep
but wasn’t

And added in all the hours
I should have been awake
but wasn’t

And multiplied by all the things
I missed, or messed up,
or did halfway
because of the above combination

You’d have wasted a lot of time
counting the cost for me
which is kind of ironic

After all, I’ve already paid the toll
for my time in shadow.

poetry genreated by cmdrtaco.net, from this site

this-
http://cmdrtaco.net/poemgen.cgi?url=http%3A%2F%2Fscottobear.livejournal.com

produced this-

Hey,
more I look
back then. the
Weekly World Both
were George and salacious illustration or
sex instructions books movies, and other
notable
historic figures is
Follow and I can read by the power
of questionable nature are still if
happy, for the day, As to the
unique details and
I went Kite flying with
walking dead, torture vampires
and it I know
so only you GET inside. Maybe
she and comment. : on
this Friday, Can keep
all TIME: so Maybe she
say as is weaker than the
Comics Code Authority Code For the
reader. 5 33 pm
Secret ID of the broadcast image out The
girl that Jesus,
formed a striking similarity.

Classic net stuff, found in my archive… where is the origin?

I caught this article in the Weekly World News at StaxStaxStax last
night. Since few of you would have picked up this magazine due
to the pair of 650 pound female models on the cover, I decided
to reproduce the article here:

(from the Weekly World News, page 17, 4th Issue 1995)

SUPERMAN’S SECRET IDENTITY WAS REALLY JESUS CHRIST!

[Massachusetts] Researchers at Miskatonic University recently
completed a seven year project code-named “Kent2”. The purpose of
this study was to determine if Superman had another secret identity
aside from his “cover” secret ID of Clark Kent, revealed repeatedly
in comic books, movies, and television.

The researchers at Miskatonic used a Cray 2 supercomputer to search
national databases and media archives to find links between Superman
and other notable historic figures to find who he may REALLY have
been. The surprising answer given by the Cray, nicknamed “Shallow
Thought”, after seven years of cross-indexing: Superman was really
none other than Jesus Christ.

Among the findings of the research team were the following:

Both Superman and Jesus were sent to another world as infants by
their fathers by means beyond our understanding. Both were
raised by surrogate parents who had no children of their own.
Jesus’s surrogate parents where Joseph and Mary, Superman’s were
George and Martha, a striking similarity. Both had the power to
leave their foster world at any time but chose not to for the
sake of that world.

Both Superman and Jesus hung out with and were followed by women
with the same first and last names. Superman had Lois Lane,
Jesus had Mary Magdalene. Neither ever consumated a romantic
relationship, perhaps because of their otherworldly origin.

This last-first name link was not limited to significant-other
females, but also included their arch-enemies. Superman’s most
dangerous foe was Lex Luthor, Jesus’s was Pontius Pilate. Both
enemies defeated the heroes but could never keep them down.

Both men were mild-mannered, but were feared by all in their wrath
when they became angered. Both refused any material reward for
their actions, and refused to participate in the squabbles between
nations. Both were tempted, but always resisted it.

Both Superman and Jesus died, although the true believers never
doubted they would come back (as they both did).

Other startling facts:

SUPERMAN got his powers from the Sun.
JESUS got his powers because he WAS the Son.

SUPERMAN formed a group called the Superfriends in his time, and
later came back to join the Legion of Super Heros far in the future.
JESUS formed a group called the Apostles in his time, and promised
to come back and do so again far in the future.

SUPERMAN was often linked with the violent, vengeful Batman and
the mysterious Wonder Woman who flew in an invisible plane.
JESUS was often linked with the violent, vengeful Old-Testament
Father and the Holy Ghost, who WAS an invisible plane.

JESUS said “Render unto Caesar what is due Caesar”.
SUPERMAN’s boss said “Great Caesar’s Ghost!”.

JESUS’s death spawned four new gospels.
SUPERMAN’s death spawned four new comic books.

JESUS could feed the masses with one loaf of bread and one fish.
SUPERMAN could squeeze a lump of coal into a diamond.

JESUS could have killed anyone with the power of damnation, but didn’t.
SUPERMAN could have killed anyone with his heat vision, but didn’t.

JESUS could play a guitar just like ringing a bell.
SUPERMAN…no wait, that wasn’t Jesus, that was Johnny B. Goode.

JESUS’s best follower was the faithful James.
SUPERMAN’s best follower was the faithful Jimmy (Olsen).

JESUS warned us that there would be false Messiahs.
SUPERMAN warned us about Bizarro Superman.

JESUS took on the Sins of the World.
SUPERMAN took on the Crisis of the Infinite Earths.

SUPERMAN could be weakend and killed by Kryptonite.
JESUS could too, but luckily there wasn’t any around back then.

SUPERMAN was faster than a speeding bullet.
JESUS was slower than a speeding spear.

Project Leader Prof. Val Ceth said the Shallow Thought computer will
next turn its attention on the puzzle of the secret identity of
the Batman. “We’re pretty sure he’s Ross Perot”, said Prof. Ceth,
“but we’re gonna run it through the computer just to be sure”.

Nahh…

My worries aobut April are still there, but she say she’s not losing any affection for me… I’m going to go with the assumption that I’m just overtired and grumpy. Above all, keep all cards on the table, and don’t be hiding any feelings. That’s the road to trouble.

Privacy! Hey, good thing…

I feel that locks do a good job of keeping honest people out. Those people that wish to keep the journal private, and still play on the net, check out the new beta client. You can have it so only you can read it, only your friends, everyone, or only select friends. I’m going to let Robb know so that he can pass the information on to certain folks who think what they post is currently private… silly bunnies. I still can’t get my web cam to upload to my ftp site. 🙁 not sure what I’m doing wrong… I don’t want to write a batch file to do it, but I guess if I don’t figure it out in a week, I’ll klugde around it that way. I’m getting sort of sad about my relationship with April, I don’t think I can maintain affection for someone who doesn’t reciprocate. Ah, well. If it doesn’t work, I was quite happy for a little while, and I’ll just move on, no harm, no foul.

Simple –

The simplest thoughts are the best.

Dogs and cats do not have souls
Our thoughts can be contained in polls
Hitler rose through gun controls
Sin depends on choice of holes.

The simplest thoughts are the best.

Race issues are black and white
Repeating something makes it right.
Gather your feelings, hold them tight
Keep your core out of the light.

The simplest thoughts are the best.

Once a thief, always a thief
Trusting folks will bring you grief
Truth is weaker than belief
It won’t get read if it’s not brief.

The simplest thoughts are the best.

Never touch without a glove
The eagle’s stronger than the dove
You can control another’s love
And if they hate you, see above.

The simplest thoughts are the best.

Do not question, do not try
Never, ever, wonder why
Always be ashamed to cry
Friend’s another word for spy.

The simplest thoughts are the best.
The simplest words are the deepest.
The simplest source is the strongest.
The simplest lies are the easiest.

The simplest poem is “Follow No One.”.

Bubble

And my mind a ship
floating sideways in the wind.

It rocks to and fro,
but never embraces
what it replaces.

It bobs up and down,
unhurriedly,
disgorging long letters
in hermetically-sealed bottles

which float,
adrift,
out of the picture’s frame.

Scott mopes a little…

I don’t know what it is, but it seems I attract friends that are super-transient. I don’t think I’m going to chum up with computer programmers anymore especially as I’ve had the worst luch with them moving off to Texas, California, and other points west, near places with deserts. Ray & Kathleen, Alex, Jim, and no doubt, shortly (when leases are up?) Robb, Brian, and Heather (If she and Brian can keep it together. I’m pretty surprised it’s lasted this long… maybe she needs to marry a guy, before relationships start to fragment? Maybe Brian was what she needed? Who knows? I’m happy if they’re happy, and I’ll be saddened when it they go through what I feel is the inevitable breakup.) I’m very fortunate to have a few friends that are more securely anchored. Danny, Dave, Cathi are solid… Suzy’s good, but more needy on that spectrum.

Touch

It fell from the sky last night.

It dropped down faster than I could follow and stopped without slowing,
just an inch off of the grass outside.

I went out to it.
I had seen it many times before, but never had I come this close.
It had come and gone away, and I had never even touched the thing,
so
I went out to it.

It was a cobalt-blue doughnut, a motionless torus, a flat cylinder with
a hole in the middle like some giant sideways capital O six feet tall.

Its surface was featureless and blank,
and its top and bottom edges terribly sharp.

I slowly reached out, one finger of one, hand, and touched it.
It wasn’t warm, it wasn’t cold, it wasn’t anything,
but after that my clothes started burning me and I had to take them off.
After that I pressed both palms, all fingers, against it,
and still felt nothing but pressure,
but my hair started hurting and I had to pull it out.

The rest of the night, I tried for some response, any sign.
I threw things at it, I yelled at it, I commanded it to open.
I burned my clothes and hair and threw the ashes on top of the thing.
I ran at it like a cop trying to knock down a door.
I tried to climb on top of it, but I couldn’t stay there.
Everything ventured, nothing gained.
At least it stayed longer this time.

Finally, it left. I tried to catch it but it was gone before the knowing.

I suppose I can’t complain. It never really hurt me
and it didn’t do anything I could call unfair.
Still I have this regret, this sense of loss,
as if there was something more I could have done,
something better.
something stronger.

It will come again in a week or month or so.
Maybe then I will get inside.
Maybe then I can touch it.

Here we go again!

Here’s a fun fact. I have the mystic ability to find journals written by folks I know without actually looking for them. I found another pal of mine’s online, just by playing in some states I thought would be fun to read. Fortuantely, this time I didn’t see anything that would cause me any consternation this time, so I now know where to tread away from… for what it’s worth, if mine is being read by them, I’m not hiding anything, so feel free to read and comment. 🙂 Still, if you want something to be *PRIVATE* try not to post it to the web, ok? I don’t know what sort of synchronicity that drops me into peoples personal stuff, but if you’re broadcasting, expect it to be read by someone, ok? That being said, I wonder if anyone else I know is out here, and I haven’t stumbled over them yet? It seems like something someone would show me, but who knows?

today…

Went Kite flying with April & Danny before work… lots of fun, but I’m dead-tired now. the heat just sort of sucked the strength right out of me. They seemed to get along very well, even with the very different natures involved. Downside was that April got up extra early this am, to fill in at work, and they didn’t even need her there! (She offered to take over because someone called in sick, then the sick-ee showed up.) Got the web cam installed at home, but still having trouble getting the broadcast image out to the ftp site. 😛 humbug! fun little program, though. Planning on going to the Graves museum of archaeology & natural history sometime next week… i think it’ll be a good time. I’d like to take Robby with us, but it will be during the day, maybe I can convince him to skip for a few hours, depending on his schedule. Brian’s a possibility too, since he works at home, now. Heather? Hard to say, as she’s not in charge of her dept. Tomorrow’s Friday! Hoo-hah! Can the weekend be far behind?

mind tricks

“365 days a year.

every day.

every night.

every week.

every month.

every hour.

every minute.”

says the back of the shirt belonging to the girl sitting in front of me.
in my head i automatically free-associate, finishing the sequence of
phrases: “women are raped.”

i look back at the shirt, continuing reading, to find out just what is
taking place so frequently.

i see the Nike symbol, and the word

“Basketball.”

oh.

Thanks Kelly for finding this list, my turn :)

NAME: Scott
NICKNAME: Scotto, Scooter, Bear, Yeti, “Hey, Hippie!”
BIRTHPLACE: Boston, MA
HOMETOWN: Brockton, MA
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Croutons
FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING: Honey Mustard
DO YOU DRINK ALCOHOL?: very rarely.
SHAMPOO OR CONDITIONER: Thermasilk
HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Yup
DO YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE: Yup
FAVORITE COLOR: Green/Purple Tie
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: nope
ONE PILLOW OR TWO: none, but a wadded blanket is nice
PETS: Kittie- Newton
FAVORITE TYPE OF MUSIC: Most Anything!!! 🙂
DREAM CAR: 1967 Chevy Hearse
TYPE OF CAR YOU DRIVE NOW: None
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: Gran Torino (like starsky & hutch)
TOOTHPASTE: Crest
FAVORITE FOOD: Variable, currently Chinese
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: No
FAVORITE TOWN TO CHILL IN: Ft Lauderdale
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Rocky Road
FAVORITE DRINK: Ice Cold Water
FAVORITE TYPE OF GAME TO PLAY: Strategy, RPG
WHAT TIME IS YOUR BAD TIME OF DAY: As soon as the boss gets in
FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR: winter
ADIDAS, NIKE OR REEBOK: Reebok
FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE: BBB Pearberry shower gel
FAVORITE WEBSITE: disinfo.com
FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: History
ARE YOU A COMPUTER WIZ: Generally
LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT: Spanish
FAVORITE MOVIE YOU HAVE SEEN RECENTLY: Fight CLub
FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: Blade Runner
FAVORITE ALCOHOL: back-rubbing stuff
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Jousting
CRUSH: Any girl that treats me w/ respect. 😛
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON/PEOPLE WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Kelly’s quite articulate! (although I stole it, it wasn’t given)
FAVORITE WORD: Schadenfreude
HOW DO YOU CHARACTERIZE YOURSELF: Bear in the big blue house…

Man, I’m all fragmented today…

This just happening! I got a webcam! Now I just have to work out how to make it go. (just the cam, no software or anything, it was in the supply closet for aobut a year at work. It’s an ezonics ezcam usb, and I plan on using it to spy on Newton-cat while I’m at work and surfing the web. (And maybe doing cool cammy type stuff like all you other camfolks) any ideas or suggestions on software, or what sort of fun stuff to do with it? Is it possible to make it a streamcam via real video with a feeble 56k connection to the net? Ack oop ick. Anyhow, more news as it happens, kids!

Welcome to my wall scrawls.