All posts by scottobear

too much drama in my life?

ok. more weirdness to add to my current situation. I get a phone call out of the blue from my pal Chase. (I’ve not heard from her in about 3 months)… apparently she and her girlfriend of 10 years are ready to have a child together. Problematic, as they are both lacking testicles, and want to give birth, not adopt. Enter Scotto. “He’s got sperm! and I bet he’s not using all of it!” Well. Truth be told, I’ve just been using it recreationally, and not procreationally… but yeah, I guess so. Here’s the deal, they’d just as soon not go to a clinic and pay some guy to take it out of me, and plug it into Chase… they’d prefer the old fashioned, free installation that mother nature provides. Ok. I’m at the “Well, won’t there be jealousy, or something from you having sex with me?” part of the conversation… and Chase says, “No, we’ve talked it out, and you’re a nice guy… not emotional strings or anything, and we like what you have to offer…(she rattles off some stuff about me being healthy, etc, I come back with my apnea and back trouble, she says that they’ll cope with the advantages over the disads. *egoboo*) Then she mentions that if everything’s still cool, that her gf would like to have a baby about a year after the baby is born, and they’d like it if I agree to the first, if I’d agree to that too. Um. Well, let me think abut this, it’s pretty important stuff…

that’s where I am now. I think she expected me to agree right away, but was happy that I’m taking it seriously.

my immediate concerns are this –

I’ve really never had sex with someone I’m not attracted to ‘as just friends’. The closest I’ve gotten is some silly stuff with someone I had a crush on, and she was just fooling around, although I took it a little more seriously. It’s a good cause, and I’m honored they asked… but I’m not sure what my responsibility to the baby will be, should I draw up some sort of contract? Should I sire a baby with someone else, when I haven’t had any of my own kids yet? I don’t know what my feelings to a child I’m just serving as donor semen for will be, especially since I’d probably be there with them here and again, visiting.

Something for me to think seriously about.

propagating bethany, cider, and latraviata’s meme

1.) What is your favorite place to visit, and why?

locally, definitely the beach or park to kite fly, and just walk around.

anywhere? Bremen, Germany, where I have loads of relatives, and a sweet time every time I go. Good food, good humor, free room & board. 🙂

2.) Do you possess any unusual interests? If so, what are they?

unusual is a tricky word. I love weird stuff, from candy shaped like skeletons from Mexico, to people who hear voices. I’m fascinated by all sorts of bright lights and shiny objects. too many to list. 🙂

3.) Describe the worst place you ever lived.

With friends that were total slobs. (I love them to pieces, but the cleanliness habits were vile.) They owned several animals, and never cleaned house. retch. I think I actually preferred living outdoors than staying in there, even when it rained. I tried to clean the place, but it made me physically ill, and ultimately gave up on staying there. I’m dry-heaving just remembering, now.

4.) What activity/hobby do you wish that you could spend more time pursuing?

philanthropy. I would love to be comfortable enough with my income to spend all day working at a shelter or soup kitchen.

5.) You receive an extra $1000. How would you spend it?

set it aside as emergency money, and look even harder for a new job, probably taking the first one that came along that met my needs.

6.) What trait(s) do you look for in your friends?

loyalty, reliability, kindness, a sense of humor, a sense of irony, and at least smart enough to remember to breathe.

7.) What is your favorite holiday?

Halloween (closely followed by candelmas)

8.) Favorite cartoon character?

yikes. That’s so hard I can’t even say. First one that comes to mind? Monkey from Dial ‘M’ for Monkey… or Mojo Jojo. Or Grape Ape. … definitely a simian theme. Captain simian & the Space Monkeys! argh… I don’t know. Fave Live action ‘toon is Wonder Woman, baby.

9.) What do you have on the walls of your room/apt./house?

Wood Paneling, African masks, Japanese masks, poster of Boston, poster of ‘Classic Doom Patrol’, autographed photo of Julie Newmar, photo of Sean Young as Rachel form Blade Runner, bookshelves, full to the max.

10.) What is your most distracting pet peeve?

mine is the way my brain’s focus works. random thought processes sometimes step on my stream of thought.

in others, any bombardment on my senses… loud voice, foul odor, punching me.

*insert banana splits theme here*

La, la, la… lalalala

Not the smurf theme.

although it’s stuck in my head now. so, you can do that one too, if you like.

I found my old rubik’s cube last night, cleaning out my box o’ stuff I keep at the bottom of my closet. it’s a teeny one, attached to a keychain at one time. It’s so loose that gravity causes it to spin on it’s own. I almost took it to work today, but opeted out, as I have loads to do mondays…. (not like I can do that, and journal reply, and work!) It seems I have another new friend, but I can’t figure out who it is! when I do, i’ll thank you. 🙂

I was reading cider’s post about piercings, and it’s odd, but upon reflection I’ve date more girls with ink and piercings than not… Is it just trendy down here, or have most girls gotten at least a little ankle or shoulder tattoo in the last 10 years? Thinking about the ones ‘m most familiar with, I can honestly say that of the girls I know between the ages of 21 and 40, easily 90% has some sort of ritual scarification. (I’m not counting ear pierces, either.) counting on my fingers, only 3 of 35 girls are ‘unmarked’. I wonder what the old age homes are going to look like? right now it’s what, marines, and other military guys with marks? times change, I suppose.

a futile attempt to purge abba.

I’m not feeling all right today

I’m not feeling that great

I’m not catching on fire today

Love has started to fade

I’m not going to smile today

I’m not going to laugh

You’re outliving it up today

I got dues to pay

And the gravedigger puts puts on the forceps

The stonemason does all the work

The barber can give you a haircut

The carpenter can take you out to lunch

I just want to play on my pan pipes

I just want to drink me some wine

As soon as you’re born you start dying

So you might as well have a good time

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

I don’t want go to sunset strip

I don’t wanta feel the emptiness

Bold maces with stupid band names

I don’t want go to sunset strip

I don’t wanta go sunset strip

I don’t wanta feel the emptiness

Bold maces with stupid band names

I don’t wanta go sunset strip

And the gravedigger puts puts on the forceps

The stonemason does all the work

The barber can give you a haircut

The carpenter can take you out to lunch

I just want to play on my pan pipes

I just want to drink me some wine

As soon as you’re born you start dying

So you might as well have a good time

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell.

*Dancing queen…..*

augh. it was to no avail.

I’m back again.

Well, grocery shopping went very well. Tried out the new Publix north of me, as opposed to the one to my south. A little further to walk, but I was planning on paying my phone bill at the Southern Bell office up that way while I was there. Unfortunately, that’ll have to wait for later, as the billing offices were closed for Sunday. Upside, more money for foodies.

The checkout girl was adorable, and very funny. If I was a decade younger I’d have asked her out. She had something to say about everything I bought…

added aside. There is a Cran-Nectarine. Yow. A cran I’ve never had before. growing up in Massachusetts near the ocean spray factory, I developed a love-hate relationship with cranberries at an early age. I’d play out in the bogs where they grew (sort of like rice paddies, if you know how swamp plants are grown) and get chased all over the place by my pals in there, when I was about 7 years old. Wading waist-deep in puddles full of cranberry plants, not fearing snakes, spiders or anything else a little boy knows better than to be afraid of. I remember coming home soaking wet, covered with scratches and scrapes, and covered with pelt marks from having cranberry fights on ocean Spray Property. My mom would bawl me out terribly, and give me the ‘wait until your father gets home’ scare tactic. I OD’ed on cranberry at an early age, and wouldn’t go near it for about 5 years… most folks only think of cranberry sauce as something you eat with thanksgiving dinner, but I’d guess that we had the stuff 2-3 times a week. It gets old. The juice, though, is great, cranapple is just perfect.

…flash return to present . The checkout girl. woo. ok. right. Biggest points for her (in my mind) was her “Cheese!” comment, made like Wallace from Wallace and Grommit, right down to the hand gestures, and going up on the toes. I laughed aloud at that, something I rarely do alone and surrounded by strangers, and it felt good. I wonder if she has an older sister. (I try to date within a decade of my birthday. 🙂 )

Campbell’s Bows Out. . . Many Lives Are Saved.

First off, Campbell’s, I hate you. You had it all going for you with your fancy-schmancy soups and all, but you just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you? No, you had to go and put ramen noodles on the market. Well, I guess the consumers got the last word on this slap-in-the-face, didn’t they, you dopes. Yes, dear readers, Campbell’s ramen noodles have been discontinued. . . and no one even noticed. Let me give you a little rundown on why this ingenious marketing idea burned to the ground. . .

Right off, it is important to understand that every college kid, every bachelor, every single bachelorette on the face of this planet eats ramen noodles for one reason and one reason only: they are cheap as hell. You can buy FOUR packages of ramen noodles for under a buck, and whether you like the taste or not, you damn well learn to relish their merciful existence because when you have four dollars left for the rest of the week, ramen noodles quickly become the thin line between life and starvation. Campbell’s, for some odd reason, thought that people were buying the dehydrated slivers of starch and packets of colored salt because they just couldn’t get enough of that beefy, chickeny, “oriental” delicacy that seemed to be sweeping the nation. No, Campbell’s, we were broke!

So why am I so mad that they decided to partake in the thriving ramen industry? Because they charged about FIFTY CENTS a pack. That’s over TWICE what the regular ramens cost, which insults my intelligence and offends me as a consumer. Sure, the people at Campbell’s would like to have you believe that they charge more because they make “better” ramen noodles than the other companies, but anyone who has ever eaten a single ramen noodle can tell you that THEY ALL TASTE EXACTLY THE SAME! Even if they were better, we still wouldn’t buy them for one simple reason: you pay twice as much for half the product. People don’t buy ramen noodles for the quality of the product. . . they buy them so they don’t get hospitalized for malnutrition. Even if we had the extra fifty cents to “upgrade” or ramen quality, we wouldn’t spend it like that. . . we would simply climb to the next rung on the ladder of single-people food: macaroni and cheese.

Let’s face it, Campbell’s, when’s the last time any of your executives went to an expensive company dinner and ordered ramen noodles. . . on purpose? When was the last time one of your rich-ass friends invited you over for dinner and this happened:

“Bob, you ought to bring over the wife and kids for dinner tonight.”

“Sorry, Biff, I have lots of work this evening.”

“Are you sure? We’re breaking out the ramen noodles. . . ”

“Really? Is it someone’s birthday?”

What? That’s never happened to you? You know why? Because you aren’t poor. Do you want to know why other ramen companies are still thriving and you had to discontinue yours? This is why:
Because other companies tell it like it is. Smack Ramen. This stuff is “smack” for poor people. They don’t try to flower it up or make it look all gourmet. Sure, they tried to make it look a little too pretty on the package, but not only does theirs cost eighteen cents a package, they named their entire company “Smack”. Because if you have to rely on ramen noodles as your chief source of nutrition, you probably look like a junkie, and Smack sure as hell isn’t going to act like they don’t know. Thank you, Smack, for looking our handicap right in the face and not pretending like it doesn’t exist.

And Campbell’s I only have one thing left to say to you: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Hannibal

“Hannibal” is the latest in a long series of novels from author Thomas Harris based on the popular 80’s television show “The A-Team.” Harris’ latest effort, as you may guess, revolves mostly around A-Team leader Hannibal Smith (played in the show by George Peppard).

The plot of “Hannibal” involves the A-Team being called in to save a small family’s farm, which is being threatened by a small army of Columbian drug dealers. The A-team must again use their ingenuity to defeat the army, and to save the family.

“Hannibal” is not Harris’ finest effort. Fans who are used to quality thrillers such as “B.A.’s Revenge” and “The Darkness of H.M. Murdoch’s Soul” will be a little let down by “Hannibal.” The plot is cliched, and even the running jokes seem tired. One sequence involving the A-Team trying to get B.A. Baracus (played by Mr. T in the show) onto a plane falls flat – we all know that B.A. is afraid of heights, and that the team will end up knocking him out to get him on board. However, that doesn’t stop Harris from devoting 175 pages to the scene.

There is plenty of action in “Hannibal,” but it still comes at the expense of chapter after chapter about Hannibal Smith’s childhood, and family life. Despite what Harris might think, this is not what A-Team fans read his novels for.

In the end, if you are a huge A-Team fan, and you have read all of Harris’ previous efforts, this one may be worth the hardback price. But if you are looking for a hard core page-turner, go elsewhere. “Hannibal” just doesn’t measure up.

wakey wakey, garden snakey.

Ugh. rough for me to shake off the snoozies today…

good comfy sleep last night. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I figure sleeping in to 10 am is late enough….

I called up regarding everway, and no info as to if we’re getting together after all, maybe I’ll go see Nurse Betty with Dave later on today.

I am Jack’s need to be around other people.

Thank goodness newt is such a buddy… but, his verbal skills are lacking. I have a real need to talk/ discuss/ debate/ banter about some sorts of stuff.

fiddle-dee-dee.