November 15, 2022 at 05:34PM

Looking at my journals from my late teens and throughout my 20s, I dissociated quite a lot. I have notes to myself about waking up, realizing I was doing something, like going up the steps to Mr Vice’s class or talking to R&K about a science fiction author on I had never heard of, and then recognized after I “woke up”.

It was pretty scary then, and still is a bit frightening now. I wrote that it feels like something else was driving my mind and body on autopilot, and I just would snap into consciousness at random, realizing that I was in a fog mentally, but the body just went on about the business of hanging out with pals at D&D or driving home from school, only to snap back into sharp focus later on.

There was a real disconnect from my body, and reality in general. I wonder how many people had the same vibe and even gave it a second thought?

I don’t have any alternative personalities or lost time that I know of, more of just coasting. A lot more than just “highway hypnosis ” or getting lost in a book though.

Like I mentioned, no alternate identities, but depersonalization and serialization certainly seem to have made an appearance.

#streamofthought #ptsd #dissociativeidentitydisorder


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