So, this is the anniversary of my dad’s death

He died at 42, and had me at 23.

I’m in a place where he has been dead longer than I knew him alive. Little things still remind me of him, some good, some bad, most incredibly neutral, like the sound of my cough, or seeing a boxing match / a certain type of Corvette on the road / a reference to Jaques Cousteau. 

I’m old enough to have a 23 year old kid with a newborn,  if I had one when he did, and my kid had one at the age dad did. Does that math make sense? 

How the heck does someone have a kid at 23, with a 21 year old wife? 

I’m way too neurotic about the cats *now* to have a kid, let alone a grandkid. If my imaginary child had an imaginary child, my dad and mom would be great-grandparents. 

Hard to do the “my age compared to his age” thing anymore. I can’t really transfer that to Mom or an uncle, it is a different vibe. 

Today, I’m not really missing him… he’s just not around any more. Not depressed, just contemplating. 

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