The Sarah Jane episode of Dr. Who didn’t disappoint, and it was delightful to see both her and K9 again. I do think that if the Doctor had been a little less “devil may care”, a lot fewer innocents would’ve been killed.

In other TV news, I was enjoying Charmed, until they added the blond “cousin oliver”. See also the addition of the kid on Gilmore Girls. They’re just counting down to the end.

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Bob Ross Inc. has announced in March 2006 that they have filed a letter of intent to license to Joseph Hatcher’s AGFRAG Entertainment Group to develop exclusively worldwide video/computer games based on Bob Ross’ creative, unique and easy to learn painting techniques and TV show properties.

Right on. Happy Little Trees! “We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.” I love that guy.

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Is it true that 1 human being out of 5 is a Chinese farmer? There are a lot of 20% breakdowns on google.

A few –

1. one in every five Americans are currently infected with a sexually transmitted viral disease.
2. One in every five Americans, experiences some type of mental disorder each year
3. The bacteria that cause meningococcal disease are carried by about one in every five people.
4. One in every five people in Nairobi is HIV positive
5. About one in every five people have genital herpes
6. one in every five people in Jordan have made pledges to UNICEF
7. One in every five people lack access to safe drinking water.
8. one in every five people on the planet is a Muslim.
9. One in every five people in Seoul owns dogs or other pets.
10. Mild side effects of the Japanese Encephalitis Virus Vaccine occur in about one in every five people who receive it.
11. one in every five people has a reading problem
12. One in every five people in the developing world is chronically undernourished
13. By 2030, one in every five people is likely to be 65 or older
14. one in every five people who work for the State of California works for the Department of Corrections
15. one in every five people in the world is surviving on less than $1 a day
16. One in every five people with sight problems has another disability
17. One in every five people with HIV is a prison inmate or a former inmate
18. In Michigan, nearly one in every five people is out of work

To the best of my knowledge, I don’t fall into any of those groups.

I’d say I know folks that fall into group #1, #2, #4 (but not from Nairobi), #5, #6, #8, #9 (in Seoul), #11, #13 (I think GP falls into that group… I’ll be 61), #14, #15, #16, #17

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It’s really hard to find a house painted green in my neighborhood. I have yellow, many shades of blue, pink, white, and gray… but no green. Also, I’ve found no stray kitties in my walkabout… Seester Kelliebellie gave me a challenge! I like it, but it may take me longer than I had anticipated.

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Everybody’s got something to hide except me and my monkey.

– John Lennon

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I like monkeys – mp3

I was walking through town one day and I noticed that the pet store was selling monkeys for five cents apiece. I thought that was odd since they were normally a couple thousand dollars or something, but I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. You know why? I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of my monkeys were really that bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals, and I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room once I got home. Unfortunately, they didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals and that worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want to call the plumber. ‘Cause I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn’t improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

Next, I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. You know why?

I like monkeys.

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Onegoodmove posted a blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.

Or, if you prefer, of course it’s on youtube too.

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In the German-speaking countries the first day of May is a national holiday, similar to Labor Day in the States. It is the International Workers’ Day – Tag der Arbeit, when workers gather for rallies and speeches, to collectively express their unity. However, it is more than that. To this day a variety of May festivals abounds.

May was a joyous time in the ancient calendar. The fairies (pagan spirits), the rulers of May, would help Earth to clad herself once more in green. In farming areas, spring, summer and the beginning of autumn were filled with work–interrupted only by the midsummer celebrations. May Day was very much anticipated, and weather rules abound: “Mairegen bringt Segen” (Rain in May brings blessings). It was the day when in some areas the cattle were taken out to pasture for the first time.

Many customs are connected to this day and symbols abound. Maiglöckchen (Maybells) are in bloom and in the stores children can purchase chocolate Maikäfer (May beetles). Houses and dance halls are decked with young green and flowers, and songs celebrate this joyous occasion. May is the month most sung about by poets and song-writers. A part of the celebrations are ceremonial plantings of seedlings or young trees. The Maypole is put up and there are dances around it. There may be a May play or a May Queen contest. In some areas, a whole village may gather around a Maypole. Everybody holds hands, dances, drinks, and is happy not to have to be at work for a day. There may be a merry procession to Maypole or dance hall, where the May Queen ceremonially declares winter defeated and opens the dance.

The Maypole and the dance around it is a major symbol of spring’s reawakening of fruitfulness. May was known as the “Wonnemond,” the month of lovers where a young man’s fancy would turn to love. In May the largest number of weddings take place. Over time the Maibaum (May-tree) lost its original meaning, that of celebrating a wedding. In days gone by, young unmarried men of the village would organize and sponsor parties, dances and celebrations, to get the unmarried maidens of the village into the spirit of May. If then a wedding would take place, a tree decorated with colorful streamers and ribbons would be placed in front of the bride’s house.

The May pole may be officially erected in the market place, in front of city hall or some other prominent spot in town. Often colorful carved shingles or signs decorate the Maypole and indicate the town’s various trades and professions. It may be up during the entire month of May, or even longer. The Maypole in Munich, located on the Viktualienmarkt not far from the Marienplatz, has become a permanent fixture. It stays up all year. The Maytree would be erected on top of the Maypole.

While Mayfests abound in the German-American community, there are only a few Maypole’s in the U.S. One can be seen near the Courthouse in Jasper, Indiana. Another custom that made it to the U.S, is the dance around the Maypole. The Fledermäuschen Tanzgruppe of the German-American Klub in Indianapolis performs a folkdance version of it at their annual Maifest.

The traditional Maypole dance starts with long ribbons attached high up on the pole. Each dancer holds the end of a ribbon. The circle of dancers begins far out from the pole, so the ribbons are kept fairly taut. There should be an even number of dancers, facing alternatively clockwise and counterclockwise. All dancers move in the direction they are facing, passing right shoulders with the next, and so on around to braid the ribbons over-and-under around the pole. Those passing on the inside will have to duck, those passing on the outside raise their ribbons to slide over.

In Bavaria May 1 is an especially important day for it is “Unsere Liebe Frau als Schutzfrau Bayerns” (Our Dear Lady as Patron Saint of Bavaria) also called the “Fest Patrona Bavariae”. Festivals there have a special Bavarian flavor.

In Bavarian villages, it has been the custom for centuries to cut a tall and straight tree, a day or two before May 1, place it in the middle of the village and decorate it with a wreath of spring flowers and colorful ribbons. One of the traditions is to attempt to steal the Maypole of the neighboring village on the night before, and to hold it for ransom, usually a couple kegs of beer. At the same time villagers had to make sure that their maypole was not stolen by their neighbors.

Another Bavarian tradition is the Maibaumkraxeln (Maypole climbing) contest. In many parts of Bavaria guys battle to see who can climb up the shaven and polished tree trunk the fastest, a task made even tougher by soaping down the Maypole, so that climbers only have a good shot if they smear ashes, tree sap or pitch on their hands. The goal is to win the Brezeln und Würste (pretzels and sausages) that hang atop the pole, and to impress the girls down in the crowd. Beginners climb carefully, gradually and in spurts. Veterans will grab a hold of the tree between hands and feet and climb right up. These are trees, 15 m (46 ft.) high, without branches, no bark, and slick as a grease pan!

Maiwein (May Wine) is a German drink, dedicated to springtime and flavored with fresh Waldmeister (sweet woodruff). Maiwein, a white wine, imported from Germany, can be found in stores. Waldmeister is an old-world herb, a small plant with white blossoms. In Germany it grows in the forests. However, the variety which grows wild here is not usable for flavoring. This decorative plant may be grown in a shady corner of an herb garden. It should be used for flavoring only in May when the new leaves are tender. Cut up and soaked in the wine it will produce the distinctive May Wine taste.

You can make your own Maiwein by using a good white wine and flavoring it with woodruff. For a Maibowle (May punch) you can add carbonated water or champagne. The following recipe is from “Joy of Cooking” by Rombauer and Becker

Place in a bowl:
12 sprigs young waldmeister
1 1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 bottle Moselle or other dry white wine
(1 cup brandy)

Cover the mixture for 30 minutes, no longer. Remove the waldmeister. Stir contents of bowl thoroughly and pour over a block of ice in a punch bowl. Add:
3 bottles Moselle
1 quart carbonated water or champagne
Thinly sliced oranges, sticks of pineapple and, most appropriately, sprigs of waldmeister, may be used to decorate the “Maitrank.”

In Bohemia, May Day was the young women’s opportunity to show off their hand- made wardrobes. During the first part of the nineteenth century most peasant clothing was still made of linen spun from flax each family grew for their own use. After the flax was prepared for spinning the women in the family would spin it — on hand spindles while they were in the pastures watching geese and cattle or on spinning wheels in the house. The finer the thread was spun the more-talented was the spinner. Finest threads were made into sheer fabrics used for blouses which were worn with great pride on “dress-up” occasions. Heavier threads were used for skirts, shirts, aprons and “everyday” clothing.

In Bozema Nemcova’s book about a 19th century Bohemian family (Title is: Granny) the grandmother says, “A skirt that lasts less than 25 years is no skirt at all.”

In some parts of German Bohemia the girls would wear their best clothing on May Day, starting with the plainest “good” costume. They would change their clothes several times during the day, ending with their most elaborately decorated Tracht — (folk dress) — which might have silk ribbons, velvet and colorful embroidery (sometimes even with precious golden or silver thread) as decoration. The girls who had the most changes of clothing and the most beautifully made Tracht were actually displaying their “talents” as future wives and the wealth of their families (the size of their dowries) and they were the ones the boys supposedly wanted to marry….

By the middle of the nineteenth century cheap cotton fabrics from England and other “factory-made” textiles replaced most of the hand-woven cloth used by peasants. Peasant girls began to dress in the fashion of the day, often purchased from a dressmaker, rather than spend the many hours needed to make a traditional wardrobe. The skirts worn with Tracht also changed during that time – the plain colored skirts trimmed with ribbons and embroidery were replaced by colorful silk floral prints.

I don’t know if the traditional May Day “fashion parade” continued after hand- made clothing began to be replaced with “ready-to-wear.”

A little bit of trivia: During the eighteenth century and well into the nineteenth century it was popular for one of the petticoats under a woman’s skirt to be red.

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1 year ago – family factoids, mail forwarding booboo, skipped air show, costco cremation urns, Classic Cheesy Comics, Minneapolis Beggars Guild?, Burrito Weapon

2 years ago – rough night on call, may day, Spanish channel family feud answers,budget assist, air and sea, Dan’s students put up a site, Newt-parrot,mum issue, memories, cam pics

3 years ago – There, mayday, top40 drop, ortho, on Workmans comp

4 years ago – free scoop, invaders, stuff meme

5 years ago – buck rogers, geography and climate, nightclub, trundle, lj-cut ponder, misc evil news, organ donor poll, wild party