Bro woke me at 2am on Christmas morning by calling me on the phone and asking me to look up some woman on the police blotters for Broward and palm beach counties. He claimed that they were going to hit midnight mass and she doesn’t have a phone. She supposedly has outstanding warrants, but I didn’t see any. When I told him that he was calling and waking me up at 2 f’ing in the morning, he barely apologized. I told him to call the police the next time he wanted to do a criminal search, or at least wait until a civil hour to ring me for a non-emergency.

Someone remind me to kick his keister when I wake back up.