#6259 workies / Bro visit for a moment/ screenplay generator

Got a runaway call at 11pm… a twelve year old girl that high-tailed it because her grades were bad. I put the system in motion, and right as I was getting ready to hit the approve key for launch, Miami police called back on the other line and let me know that she was found, safe at her dad’s place. (She’s in custody of her mom and stepfather.) I asked if friends and family were notified, but I guess they didn’t think to call the kid’s birth-father right away. ah well… That saves me from maybe waking up about 960 folks if they go to bed before 11pm. (They would’ve gone knocking door-to-door if the child wasn’t found by 11:45, so there’d not been much sleep for anyone in that neighborhood, even with unlisted numbers.)


Sweet Sakes, these wasabe peas are the hottest things I’ve ever had. Are they just wasabe rolled in a ball? are there no peas?


Bro stopped by and dropped over a “prize” he “won” from a nearby car show. I smell BS, because he was evasive and unclear as to how he got it. I suspect the prize (a stereo/tool battery-charger) is something that fell off of the back of a truck. His chin looks fine, the stitches are barely noticeable.


Make a movie out of any given webpage (thanks ldy!)

For example, my journal produces

LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER

a romantic comedy screenplay by

www.astonishingtales.com

and

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

FADE IN.

INT. FLOWER SHOP

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES and LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) are selling flowers.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

You know, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL), sometimes I think I should give up my independent florist ways and settle down with a decent man who will take care of me.

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

— mostly monster movies, old gaming, mental leaps, mutual acquaintances, and so on.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES nods in thought.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Hmmmm…. I’d never thought of it like that before. Maybe I will keep this flower shop and not fall in love.

Suddenly, LEONARDO DI CAPRIO comes into the shop. He is not impressed with the flowers on offer.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

Look here, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES. I am not impressed with the flowers on offer here. Your flower shop is stupid.

He leaves.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

How incredibly arrogant that LEONARDO DI CAPRIO is! I don’t like him one bit.

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Random Scotto factoid – I’m really overcautious when it comes to handling hot objects.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

That’s exactly what I was thinking LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL). Come on, let’s continue our work as florists.

CUT TO.

INT. A COCKTAIL PARTY

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES and LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) are enjoying themselves at a cocktail party. CATHERINE ZETA-JONES is talking to a handsome man while LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) is also making small talk with a member of the opposite sex.

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Cobblestone Minefield -Simply get from the top right square to the bottom left.

MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

Hahahahahahaha!! Oh, how frightfully witty. Shame on you, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES for not introducing me to LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) sooner.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

I knew you two would get along famously. Now, why don’t we all head out onto the dance floor and lambada?

Before they can do so, there is a tap on her shoulder. She whirls around to find LEONARDO DI CAPRIO smiling charmingly.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

Hello, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES. Perhaps you’d care to dance with me instead?

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

No I most certainly would not, LEONARDO DI CAPRIO! I doubt I would ever fall in love with you.

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Fortunately, he was able to call an ambulance with his cell-phone.

Everybody laughs.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

… as the actor said to the bishop.

Everybody laughs even more.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

(eyelashes a-flutter)

Oh, LEONARDO DI CAPRIO, how excitingly quick-witted you are. I think I shall fall in love with you. Who would have thought that would ever happen, what with my instant dislike of you when first we met?

FADE TO.

INT. MASSAGE PARLOUR.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES and LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) are receiving massages and talking.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO and I stayed up all night last night just talking. It turns out that we’re both enormous fans of Jon Bon Jovi. I feel like I’m in that beautiful Shakespearean love sonnet. You know the one, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Time has no meaning, under the coolly buzzing fluorescent lights far overhead.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

No, not that one. The other one. Oh, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL), LEONARDO DI CAPRIO makes my heart swoon so.

The masseurs start pounding their backs.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Oh. That feels good. (pauses) Gee, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL), I have never felt this way about a man before. Do you have any advice for me?

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Seriously, it was without exaggeration, a near religious experience, and took my breath away.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

I hope you’re right, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) I’ll keep that in mind.

FADE TO.

EXT. A PARK BENCH

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES is crying. LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) is consoling her.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

I can’t believe we accidentally saw LEONARDO DI CAPRIO out with another woman! I thought he loved me. You were closest to the two of them, what was he saying to her?

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

The sushi and green tea ice cream satisfied my belly quite nicely.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES bursts into renewed tears. LEONARDO DI CAPRIO comes running up to them.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

I don’t want to talk to you, LEONARDO DI CAPRIO. I heard what you were saying to that horrible other woman.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

But CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, this is all a ghastly misunderstanding of some kind.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Leave me alone. I have a broken heart.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

I guess I will take that job in that other country then.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO leaves

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Hopefully the visit to the courthouse will be brief and inexpensive.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Thank you, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL). That’s just what I needed to hear now that I have a broken heart. No wonder you are my best friend.

CUT TO.

EXT. A ROAD

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES and LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL) are driving as fast as they can in CATHERINE ZETA-JONES’s car.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Oh, why won’t this car go any faster? We have to get to the next train station in time to intercept LEONARDO DI CAPRIO before he leaves forever.

She accelerates.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

If only I’d got his letter that explained how our breaking up was all just a ghastly misunderstanding sooner. Read me the PS again, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

(reading)

The kids thing can backfire if the parents are exceptionally paranoid.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

I still don’t understand what he meant by that.

They drive faster and faster and eventually make it to the train station in time. They rush onto the train and find LEONARDO DI CAPRIO.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

Oh, LEONARDO DI CAPRIO please don’t go away forever. I got your letter which eplained the ghastly misunderstanding. I now understand why you did what you did. And… I love you.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO

And I love you, CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

They kiss. They are in love.

LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL)

Wondering what cute, fat canal-creatures have to do with early movie seating.

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO and CATHERINE ZETA-JONES

You said it, LIVEJOURNAL.COM (THE POD’S JOURNAL). You said it.

THE END

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