I’m surfing cable and I land on one of the Spanish channels. It’s a news program. I only understand a teensy bit of Spanish, but the caption at the bottom of the screen says “Dominican Republic.”

They keep showing this extreme close-up shot of some deformed albino animal’s face. There is ominous synthesizer music playing in the background and a woman speaking in voiceover. It sounds very serious. The animal is really disgusting… it looks like something that was born prematurely, in fact. A fetal pig, maybe… or a sheep? It has bulging, blood-filled eyes and a mouth that hasn’t quite separated yet. Flies are crawling all over its face, but it doesn’t blink.

After a few of these close-ups, I realize that the animal is being held by the scruff of its neck by a young Dominican boy, maybe 10 or 12 years old. Several other Dominican children laugh and point and dance around barefoot in the dirt.

Cut to a haggard-looking Dominican woman, leaning against a corrugated aluminum wall. She says something that sounds serious. The voiceover says something that sounds equally serious.

They keep cutting back to that mushy albino animal’s face. They keep showing the flies.

They keep playing that ominous synthesizer music.

The segment concludes with a shot of the gang of children laughing and skipping down a muddy road. The one in the lead still has the animal by its neck, slinging it around, waving its limp body over his head like a flag.

Then, they cut to the anchorwoman, who has the MOST GIGANTIC BREASTS I’VE EVER SEEN.

The nightmares from this are gonna be awesome.

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