politics and people. from my mind right to the page, more or less.

Sometimes I like being a man, other days, it’s fine to be a little boy. Rarely have I been lost in either type. The thing is, I didn’t much like the time in between. Being a kid is great fun, and being an adult is beautiful. I wonder why the transition the first time was so difficult… Being 10 and being 30 are a hoot. for me, that span from 14-19 was sort of a rough patch, though. (elements of that sprinkled a bit through to age 26 or so. still a fleck or two here and there, but most of that nasty middle ground is gone.)

It’s funny… I know a 20 year old that’s very mature, sweet and not nasty at all, and Chupa, a person that just had her 49th birthday a week or two ago who is still stuck in those “pricky, clique-y, pay attention to me” and other nasty kid stunts.

It’s kind of sad… some folks don’t like when I don’t play their reindeer games… the kindest thing is to ignore them if they won’t take correction.

they live in the opposite of that place between sleep and awake. I’m not sure what else to call it. unfortunately, the nasties must be getting some sort of reward for acting the way they do, otherwise they’d stop, I think. The big problem is that like feeds like… the chupacabra plays the bitch, and clique-member because it does get her attention, even if it’s negative. Same problem with the finn… she has little secrets and says rude things, and gets very afraid when someone is a even a germ more clever than she is. (you can’t be the smartest one, all the time. nobody but a delusional can be. you can be the smartie *most* of the time, depending on the company you keep… but sakes… she’s out of her domain.) I have trouble respecting people that try to demand respect.

Small hands was fired for not doing an acceptable job, and for fixing his expense accounts. He was an example of a man stuck at 14 years old. An objectifying horndog. The Finn will take his place. I think she’s locked into admin, but she’ll never be a GM. The New ruling power is a 4 and 1/2 pointed star, comprised of Paul – sales, Finn – Admin (useless?), Kevin – MIS/Programming, Mark – Mailshop, and Chupa to a shaved degree.

I smell smoke where I work. Time for spring cleaning. I am fortunate to have some good people in closer proximity.

I can find a better gig, I’m sure, but I’m disappointed that I don’t know where I can go to find a job populated by fellow pods… minimal politics, just good humored weirdness. I suppose that’s utopia, and not really feasable. not enough pods on the planet to spare, I guess. I’m not comfortable with freelancing… the uncertainty factor and current job market can make it a little dangerous when you’re used to a steady paycheck. Time to find a happy medium. That settles it… sending out serious feelers for gigs.

Criteria – pays well, something worthwhile that makes the world a better place. Proactive. Opportunity to grow, and reasonable creative challenges.

the best time to look for a job is when you have a job.

going to bed now, tomorrow, after waking, I go for my walk, return, shower, shave, and begin my quest in earnest, not by using the web, but by calling a few people I know, and networking in a more human way.

I feel good about this… mental doors opening that I’d shut. I can feel the wheels being set in motion, which is more than I can say I’ve felt work-wise in quite a while. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it isn’t a train.

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