BAD, BAD Reporting. Naughty journalist. Bad Scientist. bah! I know it’s mind control ocean pudding.

The black water mass off the coast of Florida got me looking around for more info. has an article titled “Mystery of Black Water off Florida Solved

Yeah, right. Nothing to see here, everyone stay home.

For something advertised as a mystery *solved* it’s decidedly noncommital about what the solution is.

The first paragraph:

“A mysterious patch of black water off the Florida coast, the extent of which was detailed by satellite images, is most likely the result of a bloom of algae, officials said today after examining the results of water tests.”

Most likely. Solved!

However, there is an “is” statement that stands by itself. Every reference to it afterwards is weaselly, but they say what it “is” before devoting the rest of the article to guessing what it probably might be.

“The bloom, which cropped up early this year and peaked around Feb. 4, is a nontoxic cousin of the red tide, which has been blooming off southwest Florida since last August.”

See, it “is” a cousin of the red tide. Although we don’t know what it is. But don’t worry, it’s a (presumably) non-toxic cousin of something we do know about, because it has to be because we don’t know what it is.

“Gil McRae, a scientist with the Florida Marine Research Institute, said the black water bloom does not appear to be hazardous to humans, adding that the event is not likely the result of polluted river runoff or any other human or mysterious cause.”

Uh huh. Does not appear to be, not likely the result of… really going out on a limb there, ain’t ya Gil?

“Nothing indicates that this is anything other than a natural event,” McRae said in a telephone interview. Importantly, he added, “there’s no toxicity associated with it like there is with a red tide.”

Uh, Gil? What would indicate that it is an unnatural event? I mean, other than not knowing what the heck it is?

“Some of these things were probably quite common in the past, but we didn’t know about them because we didn’t have the imagery,” he said.”

Yeah, and dragons were probably *really* quite common in the past, but we didn’t have cameras. Good thing, because otherwise all my time travel exploits would have been revealed, too.

“McRae said the bloom was likely caused by organisms called diatoms.”

But they are a non-toxic cousin of the more familiar red tide diatoms. We think. So, even though we can’t conclusively say that it *is* due to diatoms, since if we could we would, we can conclusively say that they are non-toxic. Because they have to be because we don’t know what the heck it is and it looks bad. So it’s safe and non-toxic. Trust us, we’re scientists.

“Why the diatoms generated a bloom remains unknown. McRae said it could be a transition of some sort from the red tide that has been present in the region and is caused by another organism.”

Oh, why bother? Whatever, buddy. A big black mass you can see from space, and you still can’t commit to anything but that it’s nothing to worry about and not likely the result of pollution or “mysterious cause.”

There you have it. The black water mystery – solved!

fresh from a relaxing hot shower.

I see an invading bug of a nondescript sort.

drying in a towel, I call out to Newton… “Destroy the invader, my noble jungle friend!” (In my best James Earl Jones Basso-profundo, no less) If I’d had more time, I’d have come up with something better. maybe an opening of “Hie thee behind me, oh meddling fiend, lest I release the terrible whirlwind of justice that is Newton!…. To me, my son!”. There’s always next time.

he trots in, pounces, and with a sickening crunch after about 30 seconds of pursuit, our six-legged intruder is no longer on this plane of existance. I feel a moment of mixed feelings… pride in Newton’s speedy dispatch of the segmented arthropod and attending to me. a little sad that some silly bug probably did the insect equal of flying accidentally over enemy lines, and without so much as a radio warning, the government fired a sidewinder missile at the lost navigator.

well, them’s the breaks. if I’d discovered him while in clothes, I’d not have had to summon the cavalry. don’t mess with superior firepower.

Trying suave shampoo, as the grocery was out of the australian stuff… smells good, and does a good job at cleaning.

Newt ate the bug in its entirety, and I am dry now. I must photograph my defender for posterity. be right back. back. did you miss me, dear journal?

All hail the mighty defender! rah! rah! rah!

he is now eating his kibble…I imagine to get the flavor of the enemy from his capable jaws. Newton is truly mighty, as well as noble.

feeling silly. the universe just changed settings.

Laugh-O-Matic (Serious / Satirical / Witty / Wacky / Insane) …the needle is pushing a bit more ot the right.

Ok, color me home. ordered a Jet’s Pizza, veggie with parm-crust. large delivered for $7. if I’d come and gotten it, it would’ve been $5. (Veggies are – onions, green peppers, mushrooms & black olives. Hold the tomatoes.) Apparently, it’s a michigan thing… the one up the street is the first florida location. lucky me!

The marketing worked on me!

Newt is Crrrrrazy lovey. so off to play with the kitty I go.

Raining lightly out this morn, I walked for a little bit, maybe a mile. I slept soundly… I was up later than I’d planned last night. Read quite a lot, polished off a few of the heel-ends of the books I was reading. I want to eat what the giraffe is having for lunch on animal planet… fresh apples, especially. I’m settling for apple-cin oatmeal, and it’s fine by me. Some interesting opportunities on the horizon, I think. Currently being mauled by Newtie, because of a recent tooth-brushing. *note to self* Brush teeth after eating oatmeal. bleh.

The dials on Scotto’s universe today are –

Spectra-Analyzer (Monochrome / 4-Color / True-Color)
MPAA Rating (G / PG / R / NC-17)
Kill switch (Off / On)
Weirdness Tank (Empty / Low / Half / High / Full)
Laugh-O-Matic (Serious / Satirical / Witty / Wacky / Insane)
Cliche Blender (Pulse/Blend/Puree)
Global Soundtrack Volume (off, 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11!)
Personal Soundtrack Volume (off, 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11!)
Batteries (Empty / Low / Half / High / Full)

politics and people. from my mind right to the page, more or less.

Sometimes I like being a man, other days, it’s fine to be a little boy. Rarely have I been lost in either type. The thing is, I didn’t much like the time in between. Being a kid is great fun, and being an adult is beautiful. I wonder why the transition the first time was so difficult… Being 10 and being 30 are a hoot. for me, that span from 14-19 was sort of a rough patch, though. (elements of that sprinkled a bit through to age 26 or so. still a fleck or two here and there, but most of that nasty middle ground is gone.)

It’s funny… I know a 20 year old that’s very mature, sweet and not nasty at all, and Chupa, a person that just had her 49th birthday a week or two ago who is still stuck in those “pricky, clique-y, pay attention to me” and other nasty kid stunts.

It’s kind of sad… some folks don’t like when I don’t play their reindeer games… the kindest thing is to ignore them if they won’t take correction.

they live in the opposite of that place between sleep and awake. I’m not sure what else to call it. unfortunately, the nasties must be getting some sort of reward for acting the way they do, otherwise they’d stop, I think. The big problem is that like feeds like… the chupacabra plays the bitch, and clique-member because it does get her attention, even if it’s negative. Same problem with the finn… she has little secrets and says rude things, and gets very afraid when someone is a even a germ more clever than she is. (you can’t be the smartest one, all the time. nobody but a delusional can be. you can be the smartie *most* of the time, depending on the company you keep… but sakes… she’s out of her domain.) I have trouble respecting people that try to demand respect.

Small hands was fired for not doing an acceptable job, and for fixing his expense accounts. He was an example of a man stuck at 14 years old. An objectifying horndog. The Finn will take his place. I think she’s locked into admin, but she’ll never be a GM. The New ruling power is a 4 and 1/2 pointed star, comprised of Paul – sales, Finn – Admin (useless?), Kevin – MIS/Programming, Mark – Mailshop, and Chupa to a shaved degree.

I smell smoke where I work. Time for spring cleaning. I am fortunate to have some good people in closer proximity.

I can find a better gig, I’m sure, but I’m disappointed that I don’t know where I can go to find a job populated by fellow pods… minimal politics, just good humored weirdness. I suppose that’s utopia, and not really feasable. not enough pods on the planet to spare, I guess. I’m not comfortable with freelancing… the uncertainty factor and current job market can make it a little dangerous when you’re used to a steady paycheck. Time to find a happy medium. That settles it… sending out serious feelers for gigs.

Criteria – pays well, something worthwhile that makes the world a better place. Proactive. Opportunity to grow, and reasonable creative challenges.

the best time to look for a job is when you have a job.

going to bed now, tomorrow, after waking, I go for my walk, return, shower, shave, and begin my quest in earnest, not by using the web, but by calling a few people I know, and networking in a more human way.

I feel good about this… mental doors opening that I’d shut. I can feel the wheels being set in motion, which is more than I can say I’ve felt work-wise in quite a while. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it isn’t a train.