You know, sometimes I want to start a newspaper of the weird. Stuff found around the net.

‘Dr. Chaos’ held in cyanide case

Chicago police have raided Dr. Chaos’ (AKA Joseph Daniel Konopka, 25, of Wisconsin) subterranean lair, finding more than a pound of “potentially lethal cyanide,” ending his spree of malicious mischief. Well, maybe this is just a little silly, but still- there does seem to have been basically zero security down in the depths of the CTA, with those wacky kids toting cyanide around down there and changing the locks for kicks and grins.

there’s a little more information in this update:
CTA to inspect subways, seal unused rooms

This truly is a bizarre world we live in. The combined law enforcement agencies of the civilized world are directing their combined efforts at hunting down a sinister foreign millionaire and his private army in their secret mountain fortress, and now the cops have discovered Dr. Chaos’ subway hideout. When did the real world and the G.I. Joe cartoon weld together? Was it a slow, gradual process, or did it happen all at once?

“He’s a geek,” Chicago Police Supt. Terry Hillard said after a news conference Monday, adding that Konopka never indicated he intended to harm anyone.

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl dominos.”
“In his house in R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits for the pizza man”

Made of People! – Holy moley. Quorn

Notice that on the U.S. version of the page, they don’t show this picture. Or this one. Or this one. Mycoprotein, mmm! Man, anybody who thinks we aren’t living in the future is kidding themselves. Palm Pilots, cel phones, speaker magic,the Kegelmaster 2000(pic) and now… Quorn. Welcome to the 21st century, baby.

So Where’d The Accent Come From?

Paper: Birth Certificate Shows Miss Cleo Is From L.A.

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., March 15 — A birth certificate obtained by the state shows the woman marketed on cable television as Jamaican psychic Miss Cleo was actually born in Los Angeles, the daughter of American parents.

Also local is this cool gizmo that sniffs your butt for explosives and sees right through your clothes. Just like Superman.

US Army seeks nanotech suits
The goal of MIT’s new Institute for Soldier Nanotechnologies is to “greatly enhance the protection and survival of the infantry soldier using nanoscience”

Which, of course, is laudable, in my opinion. Taking care of the grunts is a very good thing. And even though thinking about all the money spent on war leaves the repressed (and unrealistic) peacenik in me feeling sad and kind of queasy, the Science Fair geek in me can’t help but love this stuff. The approach they’re taking as regards camoflauge is pretty astounding, don’t you think? Invisibility suits. I want one.

I don’t know about that ferrofluid-filled fabric, though. Granted, this stuff is way beyond my feeble little brain… but exposure to an external magnetic field will turn our uniforms into splints? Umm … nobody tell the enemy about that, okay?

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