old time radio cracks me up.

I’m listening to “Texas Rangers” on shoutcast OTR. In tonight’s episode, Jas and Leeds are tracking down an escaped killer. dun dunnnn DUNNN!

The Rangers are informed by a guy talking through a tube that the killer has only one known acquaintance, a woman that, ahem, he is not married to. She’s not at her last known address and left no forwarding information. So, Jas, knowing the best way to find a woman, gives the order:

“Check any cosmetics mail-order suppliers for her name.”

Well, of course.

So they find her and intimidate her into letting them search her apartment. Inside they find candy wrappers, and sweets are a known habit of the killer. Lifesavers were stolen from a nearby gas station.

“It ain’t no crime eatin’ candy,” says the woman.

“Yeah,” says Jas, “but you’ve got a 30-day diet tacked to the wall over there, and from the looks of your figure, you’ve been followin’ it.” The dame folds like a wet paper napkin.

I don’t think it was satire.

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