evile newskis

U.S. Can Now Prosecute Hackers Outside Borders
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The Justice Department, using the recently approved anti-terrorism law, can now prosecute foreign hackers when they attack computers in their own or other countries outside the United States.

Critics said this week that the change could make the United States the world’s Internet policeman and set a precedent that would apply American values to the worldwide network.

Mullah Omar Knows What Is Important.
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IN a typically eccentric rallying cry to his Taliban forces, Mullah Mohammed Omar has issued an edict to his officials and soldiers demanding that they wear their turbans straight.

Turbans, which the Taliban require all men to wear or face a beating, are not be worn to one side or too far back, he ruled. To do so is “vulgar and un-Islamic”…

His notorious bans on leather jackets, white paper bags (in case they were made with pages of the Koran), music and kite-flying still apply in provinces under Taliban control.

Mom’s in Labor as Dad Steals a Stereo
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When a Reserve man took his pregnant wife to River Parishes Hospital on Wednesday, he decided he would go home with more than a baby.

Mickey Hewitt, 21, of 399 Homewood Place, was booked with simple burglary of a vehicle after he broke into a car and stole some stereo equipment, authorities said.

Dude, I Thought You Were Man’s Best Friend And Stuff
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A whimpering hunting dog seems to have turned in his owner.

Police in Clinton Township in suburban Columbus said that they received a 911 cellular call Thursday from what sounded like a whimpering woman.

Officers visited the home of the cell phone’s owner.

They found no emergency, but they found 150 marijuana plants in the basement.

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