The Jiffy-pop Apes are simply using your desire for comfortable scalps to thier own advantage. Don’t succumb! Next thing you know, you’ll be showing your nipples to complete strangers. Settle on boobypops instead.
Just you wait, you’ll see… but then it’ll be far too late for me to help you.
Maybe it’s time to call in the anti-primate revenge squad… sadly, humans are primates too. I wonder if the kittens in capes can possibly make things right?