actual halloween cookies

Here is the recipe for disgusting cookies that look like cats poops (rolled in Grape-Nuts, which makes lovely fake kitty litter.)

Some of you may not want to read this!

This is the recipe for Little Gator’s famous “Deep Shit Cookies”.

There are two flavors: chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown).

I seldom measure carefully so amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet. This is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be tastier but they won’t look like poopies.

Chocolate ingredients:
1/2 cup honey
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder
grape-nuts(tm) cereal

Gingerbread ingredients:
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup molasses
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine, or lard
1 egg
2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp each)
Grape-Nuts ™ cereal

coconut (tapeworms)
chocolate chips
butterscotch chips
peanut butter chips
cooked spagetti or ramen noodles (roundworms)
M&Ms [tm]
“Those puffy pastel things you find at chinese restaurants” (shrimp chips – to look like the cat ate styrofoam packing pellets – I haven’t tried this)

To make:
Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute).

Add the butter, (I’ve been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if any.

Add the egg,

Mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.

Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge.

Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (maybe 10 to 15 minutes but with my flaky oven you never know). Note: someone with a reliable oven says it’s closer to 20 minutes for him.

Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of Grapenuts cereal, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. I imagine brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters, but I haven’t tried it. I’ve been told that mixing brown sugar with the Grapenuts “sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous.”

This recipe worked especially well at the halloween party where the table was already decorated with plastic flies.

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