“That boy needs therapy! He’s a nut, as crazy as a coconut! You’re as white as a sheet (and he makes false teeth!)”

Lyrics

Frontier Psychiatrist

Is Dexter ill… today, Mr Kirk, Dexter’s in school,
I’m afraid he’s not, Miss Fishborne,
Dexter’s truancy problem is way out of hand,
The Baltimore County school board have decided to expel
Dexter from the entire public school system,
Oh Mr Kirk, I’m as upset as you to learn of Dexter’s truancy,
But surely, expulsion is not the answer!,
I’m afraid expulsion is the only answer,
It’s the opinion of the entire staff that Dexter is criminally insane

CHORUS
That boy needs therapy, psychosomatic,
That boy needs therapy, purely psychosomatic,
That boy needs therapy,
Lying down on the couch, what does that mean?,
You’re a nut! You’re crazy in the coconut!,
What does that mean? That boy needs therapy,
I’m gonna kill you, that boy needs therapy,
Ranagazoo, let’s have a tune,
Now when I count three,
That… that… that.. boy.. boy needs therapy,
He was white as a sheet, and he makes false teeth

Avalanches above, business continues below,
Did I ever tell you the story about,
Cowboys! M… M.. M.. Midgets and the Indians and… Fron.. Frontier Psychiatrist,
I… I felt strangely hypnotized,
I was in another world, a world of 20,000 girls,
And milk! Rectangles, to an optometrist, the man with the golden eyeball,
And tighten your buttocks, pour juice on your chin,
I promise my girlfriend I’d… the violin

Frontier Psychiatrist… Frontier….

CHORUS

Can you think of anything else that talks, other than a person?,
Uh ohh… uh oh, a bird! Yeah!,
Sometimes a parrot talks,
Ha ha ha… Yes, some birds are funny when they talk,
Can you think of anything else… a record!