Evil News returns.

Worker Fired Over MP3 Files
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So you thought the worst trouble you could get into on the office computer was playing solitaire? Carla Tomino found out otherwise when Northwestern University fired her for keeping 2,000 MP3 music files on her computer at work.

Propane Huffing and Pot Smoking Like Don’t Mix
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A Muskegon man who authorities say admitted he was “huffing” propane and smoking marijuana, causing his house to blow up, now faces a felony charge.
“It’s unbelievable that he would light a marijuana cigarette while at the same time releasing propane from the tank. The result is pretty clear.”

Fundamentalists on the Run Over Right to Spank
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More than 100 members of a fundamentalist church that promotes spanking with paddles and sticks have fled their homes in Canada because they fear their children will be seized by the authorities. The pastor of her church in Aylmer, the Rev Henry Hildebrandt, has claimed that children enjoy being hit.

Boy Allegedly Partied After Murders
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A teen-ager charged with killing his father and the man’s girlfriend and stashing their bodies in a barn partied with friends after the shootings.
Joshua L. Lepley, 14, allegedly committed the crimes after his father woke him up to do household chores, prosecutors say.

Deadly Train Track Pillow
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A man lying on railroad tracks was struck and killed by a train.
James Donald Robb, 46, died early Wednesday morning. He had been lying near the crossing arms on the Florida East Coast Railway tracks, police said.

Special Messages In Some Food Packaging
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David Burris of Baker City, Ore., was stunned when he opened a box of Jell-O that he bought to prepare a dish for Thanksgiving only to find a coupon bearing a swastika and hate message.

FBI Agents Arrest CNN Producer For Kiddie Sex
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The FBI has arrested a CNN executive producer on charges he used the Internet to try and entice an underage girl for sex.

Floss Floss Floss Floss
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Nearly 300-strong, they stood ready in the midday heat, determined to set a world’s record and become a part of history. Mounted on a makeshift platform, Chris Boncimino eyed his unwavering line of volunteers as a continuous spool of filament was unraveled by the surgically-gloved hands of orthodontist John Napolitano and two dental assistants. Resplendent in white Glide dental floss T-shirts and steely-eyed under equally white Crest toothpaste sun visors, the impatient would-be record holders began their chant: “Floss, floss, floss.”

“It’s going to take too long, and it’s stupid,”

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