An old woman thinks a dog looks like her husband, so she gives it a cigar and cane, and a golf club.

“I am not your husband,” said the dog. “I am a dog.”

“But you look like my husband”, said the woman.

“But I am not your husband”, said the dog.

“You keep saying that,” said the woman. “But you are wrong, wrong, wrong. I have seen you drive a family sedan and read the sports section and belch and watch football and earn money and take out the garbage and make love and raise children and drink beer like my husband. ”

“But I bark like a dog!”, said the dog.

“You bark like my husband.”, said the woman.

The Dignified Way to Vomit

Remain standing.
With right hand, hold cocktail to the side at arm’s length.
Bow deeply at the waist.
Include all regurgitation in one retch.
Resume upright position.
Use left hand to wipe mouth with handkerchief (not toilet paper).
Take another drink.

How much would CAN a woodchuck chuck?

Why, however many boards the Mongol Hordes horde when they get bored and horde boards!

coterminous & brigadoon

coterminous koh-TUR-muh-nuhs, adjective:
1. Having the same or coincident boundaries.
2. Having the same scope, range of meaning, duration.

Coterminous is from Latin conterminus, from com-, “together; with” + terminus, “boundary.”

brigadoon BRIG-uh-doon noun:

An idyllic place that is out of touch with reality or one that makes its appearance for a brief period in a long time.

[From Brigadoon, a village in the musical of the same name, by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe, based on the story Germelshausen by Friedrich Gerstacker. Brigadoon is under a curse that makes it invisible to outsiders except on one day every 100 years.]


My sweetie is a real hot patootie!

*fans self… drove me 25 kinds of crazy before I lost count…. and gooood crazy. 🙂

Isn’t there a rule against girls being smart, funny, sexy, beautiful, and lovable, all at once? (not that I mind she breaks it. :))

Well, I’m going to bed… night all!

I’m back from walkies, showered and shaved… it’s nice go step out in the morning, after (or during) a light rain, before the sun has come very far up and started dropping heat all over the place.

Saw something that I’d not seen for years… a 2-baby stroller… (being pushed by a mommy who was in amazing shape, all the baby feeding fat was gone…unless it wasn’t the mommy. the things I assume.) 2 twin babies, about 6 months old apiece having a great time being slowly rollerbladed around the mainway. A cooing baby will always bring a smile to my face. Things like that makes me wonder all the more about people who don’t like kids…isn’t fondness for tots sort of hardwired into our nervous system? Even me, a pod, and a male, thinks that babies are adorable. The “insult” of being called a breeder by those that choose to not have kids is kind of silly, I think.

Codex sampleI notice that in the community they’re making mention of the Codex Seraphinianus and I’m astounded that it’s selling for so much now. I own a book that sells for $1000! (and it’s not even written in a tongue one can understand) I got it back in the early-mid 80s, right when it first came out… one of the first things I bought with my library paycheck.[1] It’s a beautiful book, and I should bring it out, and read through it again. Nice illustrations, and a good head shaker. No book should cost a grand.[2] If I had a good scanner, and the willingness to destroy my copy, I’d make a pdf out of it, and post it on my website… I wonder how many copyright laws that’d infringe? The book’s out of print… I’d like for more people to see it. It does look best as a tome though… they’d have to print it out, and bind it on nice paper to get the full effect and feel. Some of the images would make lovely desktop wallpaper, too.

I wouldn’t put this as my favorite book of all time, but it certainly would make for a wonderful coffee table piece (now, all I have to do is get the coffee table. The downside is… do I want to leave a book that is so costly laying out where Newt or some brutal can get at it? This is one of the perils of owning something expensive, and fragile. Maybe I’ll just sell it on Ebay…But I like to think that it’ll make a nice addition to my library, one day, when I have one. How do they say it? Possessions own you, as well as you owning them.

Trying my hand at footnotes… I think I prefer parenthetical statements, but I didn’t want to disturb the flow of writing. easier to put a number there, and come back to it later. 🙂 Um, am I being ignorant, or am I right in wondering why anyone would use the html command CITE when the italic command is only one letter?


an extravagance, bought when I was still living under my folk’s roof. That same paycheck paid for my personal phone line, too…not for social calls,per se, but to connect to BBS’s and Fidonet at 110/300 baud. gah…so long ago… I can read faster than 300 baud. No graphics saved for ASCII. Note to self, do an entry about my old BBS, run on an Atari 800, 4 floppy drives, and a 1200 baud modem, later that year. The Name? The Halls of Gladsheim. compared to today, like writing on cave walls

Well, if you want a rare first edition, that’s fair…but what about folks that don’t want to collect.. just want to read the book? this is my big gripe about comic books too. I don’t collect books as an investment. I collect ’em, because I’ve enjoyed reading them, I’m a pack rat, and have invested some emotional worth in them. Books, never read, in a vault. that’s perverse.

word of the day – stoic

stoic (STOH-ik) noun

One who is or appears to be indifferent to pleasure or pain; unaffected by emotions.


Unaffected by pleasure or pain.

After the name of the school of philosophy founded by Greek philosopher Zeno of Citium (c. 340-265 BCE) that one should be free of passion and be unaffected by grief or joy. From Middle English, from Latin stoicus, from Greek stoikos from stoa, the porch where Zeno taught. (The Stoic school taught that virtue is necessarily good and that objects of desire are morally ambiguous.)

not to be confused with Zeno of Elea, (ca 495-430 BCE) Greek philosopher who formulated paradoxes that defended the belief that motion and change are illusory , or Xenos greek for stranger.

With that, I’m off on my walk!

I wonder if this will piss anyone off? more stream of thought.

a work in progress. just like I am.

I’m a throwback, strange in that I fit so many of society’s “norms”.

some things about me, even though I’m generally classified as a liberal hippie.

Some “Conservative Aspects” of my liberal self, that is just the way I am.

Monogamous – a one woman man. So much so, that I can’t fathom polyamory at all. even dating more than one person at the same time is bizarre to me. If you want to see my short hairs go up, let me hear about a married man/woman coming on to someone that’s not that person’s spouse or partner. Adultery to me is a total lack of love and respect for one’s self, their spouse, and the person whose pants they’re trying to get into. I’m a firm believer that folks should dissolve one relationship before starting another… at least that way the hurt party doesn’t get hit with worse than a breakup. I really feel a flame of anger and disgust even when seeing a guy on tv put his wedding ring in his pocket to pick up some one night stand… I imagine it’s ok of both partners are ok with it… but I don’t comprehend that. (Our last prez is a good example of that… His wife didn’t seem to mind him fooling around, so why should I? Well, I do. not because he’s president either. Because he’s a creep for doing it. Side note – I was more angry that he lied under oath, before law and God.)

Hetero – I like the female form, and have no interest in men. I feel that ‘everyone is bi’ theory is completely bogus…Now, opposed to the above, I think of homosexuality as a personal choice, and I don’t regard folks in a negative light for sexual preference. (I do think folks that regularly flaunt their preferences, flamboyantly straight, gay or otherwise is sort of silly, though… “Straight and Great/Here and Queer” whatever. pick your partner, and do your thing… pride in one’s sexual choice is sort of like pride in your favorite color for shoes. ) I do wonder what causes certain choices, though. I’ve experimented with all sorts of sexual fantasies, and bottom line… Men don’t do it for me at all. (in fact, neither do a goodly number of women… I’ve found only a fairly narrow beam of sexually interesting people…even when I have fantasised about a beautiful woman, she’s more than just a barbie doll.) To me, the mark of a sexually (and otherwise) interesting partner is intelligent and kind, as well as a physically appealing woman. otherwise, she’d just be a semen recepticle, and I deserve more than that. I think that’s my being a pod. People who can just go out, do the dance and walk away… I can’t fathom it… no bonding at all?

I think that sometimes, some kids need corporal punishment. Not all kids, not all the time… but sometimes, a child needs physical discipline.

Some other elements that aren’t so “right or left wing”

A belief in the strength of a team, when all members are reliable.
A love/hate relationship with the law. A shame we need cops, but I’m glad we have them. The ultimate power syndrome pokes its head too often, though.

Liberal –

Consensual Crime …I don’t mind. I don’t like what it leads to though. Prostitution or Drug use should be legal, but they both lead to other problems (some, arguably due to them being illegal). but, I figure, the law of the land. Regardless of your stance on this, if you don’t vote, or let your lawmakers know how you feel, the laws will be written by those who vote (and those who have the most money to lobby). I think pot is only as bad as booze… but booze in the wrong hands can lead to peril. How do we/Should we decide whose hands are the wrong ones? The same can be said of salt, sugar and the internet. LJ, too. How many people went into withdrawal symptoms wthile the LJ was down?

stream of thought… as usual.

I feel like writing something profound and poetic:

Pretty peas
Floating in a soup
Bette Davis eyes
Bette likes to boop

Blowing in the wind
Like a helium cow
This poem is weak
So I shall end it now.

Poetry was never one of my strong points…but then, neither was square dancing.

I ask myself, “Is it a sin to be flexible when the boat comes in?” Then I sit around for five minutes and ponder the question. Then I answer: “Ummmm… I don’t think so.” Then I wander away in a daze, wondering why nonsensical Depeche Mode lyrics are dripping out of my mind.

I’m going to clear my mind before I write any more.

*pauses and performs some yoga*

I hope I’m doing it right. I’ve never had formal yoga lessons.

*I sit cross-legged with my eyes closed, staring at an imagined white spot behind my skull about three inches directly above the bridge of my nose while imagining the serene rhythms of “Feelin’ Groovy” are washing over me. The white spot turns dark blue, fading to black, as I pass out for several minutes*

*wakes up*

Ahh… refreshed.