new windows lj client. lets you change the pics now.

in the download section.

another holiday secret about scotto –

I wrap gifts in old comic books. waste not, want not. I have not used ‘wrapping paper’ per se in about a decade. recycle! you can get comics at the $.10 bin at most comic shops, or use some you have at the house, if you collect, and realise that ‘superman’s death’ thing really isn’t ever going to go up in value.

well that didn’t work!

fully intended to get more done than I did today, but enough is enough.

got some shopping done, bought some lovely scents for my hippie friends, got newt a nice black collar with a purple ID tag, still haven’t gotten my Christmas cards to send out! Arr! tomorrow.

did laundry, and while doing that, I had a lovely lunch at Miami subs. or so I thought…I feel that I may’ve gotten poisoned in some way, because fully 30 minutes after eating a Greek salad and pita, everything in my body decides to evacuate from one port or another. I’m glad I was home, stopping off to change from laundry duds to some good clean clothes, for serious shopping. Without getting too graphic, suffice it to say I’ll be staying home for the rest of the night. My gut feels like I was kicked there, by an angry mule.

four things are on my mind.

1. Ornj, of course, first and foremost. She’s just spiffy… a shame I haven’t seen her yet today, but I imagine the weekend has many constraints on her time, this being the holiday season and all. I hope to see her soon, and will think kind thoughts of her uber-spiffiness in the meantime.
2. Age of Kings II – the conquerors…. maybe I can get a leg up on sweetalyssm and beat her up with a horde of fresh, angry Huns or Mayans.
3. Writing – got to get extra bonus stuff out, as hell week approaches, and nothing of creative writing consequences will occur after Dec 19.
4. The Sims, develop a Chia-pet object, and take Chia-head to his final resting place.

an interesting point or three..

swerve mentioned this in her journal, and I think it bears spreading around.

why web journals suck

the bits about saying things about people other than yourself is especially pointed. I’ve seen other folks ‘outed’ here, without their knowledge, and it had no real bearing on the entry, and even worse invasions of a person’s privacy here and there.

Just so you know, I don’t follow many of the Elements Of Excellent And Good Journals listed…

the reason I started a journal here was for a personal journal, and ease of use… before there was such a thing as private entries. now, I can mix and match my eye’s only and ‘sure, you can read it’ quite a lot. that’s mutated a bit, I like sharing lots of stuff with you out there now. I’ve met quite a few nice folks, and I wanted to take a moment to say thank you. For the vast majority, I’ve received a great number of positive strokes, and I think I’ve gotten a few real friends out of this. Thanks, gang.

Why do you folks journal?

Another question is, how do you stay on top of all your friend’s? I try to read all of them, but I cannot. Some days they all post at once, or I have a hard work day, or the net goes down, and they all fly past, like jet fighters at an airshow… I hear some noise, but the physicality is long gone.

in my inbox… by mistake?

Dear Asplundh (if that’s even your real name),

We know you’re up to something. You and your obscenely loud colored “tree-trimming” vehicles. Look, I don’t even want to know what. Maybe the government, maybe terrorists, maybe aliens, maybe little angry Dutch children, but WHOEVER you are really affiliated with,and WHOEVER you are doing the dirty work for, I promise you one thing: You won’t get me. That’s right. I defy you. Myself, and millions (well, thousands. . . .well, hundreds. . . .well maybe just me) of others have noticed your suspicious activities, and we will no longer ignore the threat you pose to us and our children. Did you think we wouldn’t notice that your trucks stake out various, highly suspicious, areas for days? That we wouldn’t notice that you travel in fleets often ridiculous in size to accomplish the menial job being performed for a particular “client”. That we wouldn’t notice that all your employees are strangely all very large and muscular?? (Yeah right, the fact that they supposedly do very difficult outdoor labor has anything to do with this; sure) We are ON to you guys. Better watch your step. I won’t promise that the next Asplundh truck sitting near *my* driveway won’t become squirrel chow. Oh yeah! And were do you even get “Asplundh” from?? An ancient Nordic Curse, no doubt. I shudder when I think about what “vegetation management” your company performs. [shudder]. Possible meanings? A secret army of Radishes (how long has it been since I have eaten a radish?!) to take over the world? Filling every tree in the forest with a network of listening devices? Revenge on those people in the world who always win the “Lawn of the Month” award in their neighborhood over you, by poisoning their tulips? I already know that for my act of boldness I will be hunted down and tortured for questioning, but I am not afraid. My stand here today will turn over a new “leaf” for your company.

You have been warned.

don’t mess with monkeys.

also, from… the most unique sanrio gift for that special someone.

The ‘Hello Kitty’ Iron Smelting Furnace

Arkon Metalworks. $1,400.00

What is it?: Allows your child to smelt iron just like Hello Kitty and friends.

Why it’s dangerous: Warning stickers correctly note that the Hello Kitty-smelted ore can reach temperatures up to 4,000 degrees, which can severely burn fingers. However, the stickers do little good when they burst into flame and melt within 4 seconds of startup. Also, do small-type warning stickers work on a product intended for ages “3 and up?”

The children we tested with also had trouble maintaining temperature stability and proper ore/impurity ratios. This will cause stress fractures in the finished iron if used in weight-bearing structures, such as bridges. The smelting process also produces a dense cloud of toxic smoke, which raised complaints from local zoning boards and the EPA. Our test group (ages 4-9) had difficulty negotiating the 500-page environmental impact studies and paying the $250,000.00 Excessive Contamination fines.

What you can do: Only use the Hello Kitty Iron Smelting Furnace in well-ventilated rooms, and in communities where EPA officials can be easily bribed by small children. Do not use child-smelted iron for heavy construction, unless as a last resort or in states where product liability laws are weak.

From the bogs of Creek’s Run Hollow, Arkansas

Meanwhile, in Somntropolis…..

Who can save us from this freakish froggy remnant? What manner of being is powerful enough, to stop this radioactive, twinkie-eating menace?

Chicken McNoggin?

No, he’s bogged down in court litigation with Ronald McDonald (not pictured)

Darktrain? No… perhaps if it was Moonpies & Mountain Dew that was in trouble… the vast piles of glowing fish bones didn’t eve slow it down. Run, DT! We’ll hide in the bomb shelter, while….

comes to the rescue!!


Hungrybaby no wongo wongo!!! Moki cheesa crispa froggy? Ye kallia tuka … Maaki cheezay. Shoodah! Hungrybaby eats devastating twinkie frog-a spoonful at a time, thanks to faithful sidekick, darktrain.

Scotto wonders why the mayor’s office was filled with children. A strange panel of advisors. I use children only for medical experiments and food. [mayor helpfully labeled in top panel by his desk nameplate ] Also, the city’s stockpiling treats? Fix a pothole. Build a parking garage where I can take a lady without her choking to death on exhaust. The community doesn’t want any damn room full of Twinkies.

*thank you to meemee, and lonesomedwarf for first showing me hungrybaby!