replying to zebra – the FAQ grows.

**disclaimer, all answers subject to change at my own whim… **

So let’s talk about you.

Who are you? I’m Scotto, pleased to meet you.

Why are you here? A great number of reasons. I love the ability to post my journal online, private stuff to myself, public things for a bunch of nice folks to read. I’ve kept posting publicly, because I lovesome of the kind folks I’ve met.

How did you find this? By way of Ana cam. I’ve been a fan of her site for some years now.

Do you have a favorite color? Yes!

What is it? Green (sometimes Purple)

When’s the last time you brushed your teeth? This morning, after breakfast.

Who do YOU think shot JFK? He wasn’t shot. He was killed on a hunting expedition in Africa by a tiger in 1960. 1963 Dallas was a stand-in, and a poor one.

Do you sing loud when you’re by yourself? If the song requires it.

What’s your weirdest quirk? Collecting “trophies” of folks I care about. (all are given to me freely, not stolen, or garbage.)

If you could ask any one person any question in the world and get an honest answer, what would you ask and to whom? There’s no secret I need to know that badly.

Do people ask you for advice a lot? Yes. Although it’s not often followed.

What would you ask me if you could ask me any question you wanted? What brought this questionnaire on?

Do you think there’s a meaning to life? Growth, improvement, Love (not necessarily in that order)

Do you believe in God? Not as a big man in robes in the sky, no.

Do you want to marry? If I meet the right person, yes.

What’s the last dream you had? living in a hostel with some ex-friends, I was concerned about the conditions for Newton, my cat, as the door wouldn’t close, and he’s an indoor cat. We were undercover, posing as drifters to catch and kill a villain of some sort.

If you could be anyone’s underwear for a day, whose would you be? I don’t have a longing to be anyone’s undergarment.

Do you still talk to your parents? Yes, although I prefer the answers I get from the dead one.

Who’s your favorite character off Sesame Street? Rowlf, in his Cameos, Ernie in his mainstreams.

Do you like The Far Side? Yes! But I’m glad he stopped, as he was burning out.

Are you, too, afraid of the Village People? Not even a little bit. I find them entertaining, and a constant source of amusement.

If you had to sum up your entire life’s experiences in a single song, which song would you pick? These days, I lean to “Yesterday” by the Beatles. Times change, though.

Do you have a picture of yourself you really like? Yes, a few.

Are your elbows resting on anything right now? air

Are you wearing glasses? Nope!

Socks? nope!

Shoes? Nope!

Jewelry? Necklace made of seashells and beads.

Clothes? Yes! Joe-Boxer shorts, plain white t-shirt, ghi pants.

Do you believe in miracles? I believe incredible, unexplained things can happen.

What’s the last nice thing you did for someone, just because? Bought Pixie Dinner, and gave slice & Soda to Joel.

So where is Jimmy Hoffa, anyway? Four words into the question.

Did that make you smile? No, but I was grinning already.

If you suddenly woke up tomorrow with the ability to make anyone vanish from the face of the earth at will, never to return again, would you use it? If provoked enough, yes.

What shampoo do you use to wash your hair? Kangaroo somethingorother. It’s good.

What is your name? “My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.”

When’s the last time you mailed something via post? 3 weeks ago, a letter to a friend in the Utah.

Do you speak any languages besides English? Pig Latin, gibberish, city-speak, gutter talk, a mishmash of Japanese, Spanish, German, what have you.

Are you the only person in America who watches French art films? No, but I am one of some.

When is the last time you couldn’t quit laughing? Talking with my brother in borders last Sunday, telling an off-color joke.

Are you a patient person? With people who deserve it, in my opinion. People who have lost my trust, or are deliberately being stupid get the short end of the stick.

Do you fall in love easily? I get crushes easily. Love, not nearly as often.

What’s the last book you read? From cover to cover? The KJV bible.

What time is it? 11:06pm EDT, Tuesday, October 10, 2000.

What was the last thing you drank? Mountain Dew in a can. 12 oz.

Where are you? In my apartment in Pompano Beach, Florida, USA, Earth, 3 planets out from Sol.

How are you? My mother and father copulated, and 9 months later, here I am. I’m doing ok.

Why are you where you are? Because I’m not anyplace else. Personal Choice.

Why are you how you are? My environment and experiences summed me up to this point.

Be honest this time — how are you? I’m ok. Things have been better, they’ve been worse. I’m on a positive path, if a bit unsteady.

Are you satisfied with that? Yes, as long as long as things keep progressing in a reasonable way.

Have you ever written fan mail? Yes, to Robert Anton Wilson, Timothy Leary, Santa Claus, Sean Young, and Harrison Ford. Got nice replies from them all, too, if a few were form letters.

How about a letter to the president? President Carter was the last President I wrote to.

Do you have a checking account? Nope!

Are you registered to vote? Yup!

Did you bless the last person who sneezed around you? I gave a Gesundheit, if that counts.

Do you prefer white bread or wheat? Wheat

Low or high-octane gasoline? Neither. We have technology to bypass those. If forced, I choose the most efficient.

Do you like spinach? Yes.

Think about this once more, harder this time, and answer it for me again — who are you?
“I am a son,” he answered, “a firstborn.”
“I am your servant, and servant to mankind.”
“I am an alien and a stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.”
“I am nothing but dust and ashes, much as yourself.”

A better question would have been “Who (or what) aren’t I?” To penalize you, I shall give my answer in a multiple-choice format:

Am I:

(A)An ancient and powerful conspiracy that has manipulated humanity since the beginning of time for its own dark purposes?

(B)A hoax that only a raving paranoid would give any credence to?

(C)An interstellar power devoted to the utter destruction of the existing social order?

(D)The ultimate step in human evolution?

(E)A sick, twisted joke that’s gotten *way* out of hand?

or (F)All of the above?

Determining which (if any) of these answers is the correct one is left as an exercise for the reader.

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