fall guy. I blame lique for this.

This is the story of one of America’s great unsung heroes. I mean you’ve seen him, but you never knew who he was, you’ve cheered for him and cried for him, women have wanted to die for him, did he ever get any credit? Or the girl? No! He was what we call a Stuntman. And the reason I’m talking so fondly about him is, well because it’s me. Colt Seavers. Anyway Picture work isn’t wall to wall employment, so maybe you wonder how a guy keeps his head together? Well one way is to wait by the phone. And wait and wait. The other is to take an occasional job for the court system of the United States of America, where a man is considered innocent until proving guilty. Unfortunately sometimes a lot of these people get out of jail on what we call bail, and run like hell. That’s where I come in. I sometimes pick up rent money trying to find them and bring them back to justice.

*sing it with me, people!*

Well I’m Not The Kind To Kiss And Tell,
But I’ve Been Seen With Farrah,
I’ve Never Been With Anything Less Than A Nine,
So Fine,
I’ve Been On Fire With Sally Field,
Gone Fast With A Girl Name Bo,
But Somehow They Just Don’t End Up As Mine,
It’s A Death Defying Live I Lead,
I Take My Chances,
I Die For Living In The Movies And TV,
But The Hardest Thing I Ever Do Is Watch My Leading Ladies,
Kiss Some other Guy While I’m Bandaging My Knee,
I Might Fall From A Tall Building,
I Might Roll A Brand New Car,
Cause I’m The Unknown Stuntman That Made Redford Such A Star

…I’ve Never Spent Much Time In School,
But I’ve Taught Ladies Plenty,
It’s True I Hire My Body Out For Pay,
Hey Hey,
I’ve Gotten Burned Over Cheryl Tiegs,
Blown Up For Raquel Welch,
But When I Wind Up In The Hay,
It’s Only Hay,
Hey Hey,
I Might Jump An Open Drawbridge,
Or Tarzan From A Vine,
Cause I’m The Unknown Stuntman That Makes Eastwood Look So Fine

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