Inigo: “Who are you?”
The Man in Black: “No one of consequence.”
Inigo: “I must know.”
The Man in Black: “Get used to disappointment.”
— “The Princess Bride”

People do this sort of thing to me all the time. What do they care who I am, or what I’m doing there? I know I’m a big, scary, hairy guy. But if I’m not messing with anyone, just leave the BSHG alone, ok? I live in the USA… there should be no need for showing my papers, and explaining what I’m up to. (For what it’s worth, I was doing laundry, and writing character notes/sketches in my notepad. Nothing really.) When an older guy walks up to me, and gives me silly nonsense about loitering (Waiting for your laundry is loitering? In front of the Laundromat?) I automatically got defensive. If he’d taken a different diplomatic track, like maybe giving a smile, or asking politely, I might’ve given a grin back, and had a friendly conversation. Instead… I turn into a bit of a creep. Feed him some of what he’s giving off. (A bad move. I really shouldn’t deal with people when overtired or cranky.) The discussion went something like this.

Older Guy : “Hey, you! This is a no loitering area! You have a reason for being here?”
Me: -thinking to myself- *man, leave me alone*
Me: -out Loud- “Yo no hablo Ingles” (in my american florida accent.)
Older Guy : -something in spanish – I assume the same thing he said in english-
Me: -thinking to myself- *Nuts. Stupid bilingual old guy. I shouldn’t have done spanish in south florida.*
Me: -aloud- “um, Yo no hablo espanol.”
Older Guy: “I’m going to go get a policeman. You’d better be gone when I get back.”
Me: “Fine. Go get a cop, you f-ing nazi. See you when he gets here. I’ll press harassment charges.”
Older Guy “This is private property. you have to leave”
Me: “Yo no hablo Ingles”

Older guy leaves. My dryer finishes, and I begin folding my laundry. Older guy returns.

Older Guy : “Are those your clothes?”
Me: -Holding up a XXL Tiedye T-shirt.- “What do you think?”
Older Guy : “Why didn’t you tell me you were here for a reason, instead of loitering?”
Me “No Hablo Ingles”
Older Guy, Pissed off. “Finish and leave. Don’t come back.”
Me “Que? Yo no hablo….”
Older Guy “Are you trying to start a fight?”
Me “…” -folds laundry-
Older Guy glares for ~45 seconds, then leaves.

I finish folding laundry, and go home.

Thrilling.

I feel that if I was a clean shaven 5’6″ guy, nobody would have cared. He never said he was the owner or anything, so when my next batch of clothes come due… I’ll be interested in seeing if he’s there. Never seen him before.