“I Hope That Something Better Comes Along”

(Rowlf & Kermit–both voiced by Jim Henson–sing their laments about women after Miss Piggy just walked out on her date with Kermit)

(Dialogue Intro)
Rowlf: Lemme guess: broken heart, right?
Kermit: Does it show?
Rowlf: Listen…when you’ve been tickling the ivories as long as I have, you’ve seen a broken heart for every drop of rain, a shattered dream for every fallen star!
Kermit: Exactly. She just walked out on me.
Rowlf: Ah, typical. That’s why I live alone.
Kermit: You do, huh?
Rowlf: (plays piano) Yep. I finish work, go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk and go to bed.
Kermit: Nice and simple.
Rowlf: Stay away from women. That’s my motto.
Kermit: But I can’t.
Rowlf: Neither can I. That’s my trouble…

Rowlf:
You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em.
There’s somethin’ irresistabullish about ’em.
We grin and bear it ’cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin’ better comes along.

Kermit: (spoken): Yeah, I know what you mean…

Kermit:
It’s no good complainin’ and pointless to holler.
Rowlf:
If she’s a beauty she’ll get under your collar.
Kermit:
She made a monkey out of old King Kong,
Both:
I hope that somethin’ better comes along.

Rowlf:
Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter
When puppy love comes on strong?
Or a collie that’s classy, a laddie needs a lassie,
A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.

Kermit: (spoken): Uh, Rowlf, was that a new ‘leash’ on life?
Rowlf: (spoken): Oh yeah…sorry about that.

Kermit:
I don’t mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha
Come “Father’s Day”, the litter bug’s gonna getcha;
Rowlf:
The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
Both:
I hope that somethin’ better comes along.

Kermit:
Still, it’s fun when they’re fetching,
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.
There is no solution, it’s part of evolution,
Rowlf:
You’ll sooner hear the soles,
The little feet of tadpoles.

Kermit: (spoken) Ah, Rowlf, tadpoles don’t have feet!
Rowlf: (spoken) Oh. Sorry about that…. 2, 3, 4.

Kermit:
There’s no limitation to mixin’ and matchin’
Rowlf:
Some get an itchin’ for a critter they’ve been scratchin’.
A skunk was badgered the results were strong.
Both:
I hope that somethin’ better,
I hope that somethin’ better,
I hope that somethin’ better comes along!!!
Rowlf: Beep bop bidder da dum dum bum bum bum!

Rowlf: (spoken): It’s not often you see a guy that green have the blues that bad!