Scott mopes a little…

I don’t know what it is, but it seems I attract friends that are super-transient. I don’t think I’m going to chum up with computer programmers anymore especially as I’ve had the worst luch with them moving off to Texas, California, and other points west, near places with deserts. Ray & Kathleen, Alex, Jim, and no doubt, shortly (when leases are up?) Robb, Brian, and Heather (If she and Brian can keep it together. I’m pretty surprised it’s lasted this long… maybe she needs to marry a guy, before relationships start to fragment? Maybe Brian was what she needed? Who knows? I’m happy if they’re happy, and I’ll be saddened when it they go through what I feel is the inevitable breakup.) I’m very fortunate to have a few friends that are more securely anchored. Danny, Dave, Cathi are solid… Suzy’s good, but more needy on that spectrum.

Touch

It fell from the sky last night.

It dropped down faster than I could follow and stopped without slowing,
just an inch off of the grass outside.

I went out to it.
I had seen it many times before, but never had I come this close.
It had come and gone away, and I had never even touched the thing,
so
I went out to it.

It was a cobalt-blue doughnut, a motionless torus, a flat cylinder with
a hole in the middle like some giant sideways capital O six feet tall.

Its surface was featureless and blank,
and its top and bottom edges terribly sharp.

I slowly reached out, one finger of one, hand, and touched it.
It wasn’t warm, it wasn’t cold, it wasn’t anything,
but after that my clothes started burning me and I had to take them off.
After that I pressed both palms, all fingers, against it,
and still felt nothing but pressure,
but my hair started hurting and I had to pull it out.

The rest of the night, I tried for some response, any sign.
I threw things at it, I yelled at it, I commanded it to open.
I burned my clothes and hair and threw the ashes on top of the thing.
I ran at it like a cop trying to knock down a door.
I tried to climb on top of it, but I couldn’t stay there.
Everything ventured, nothing gained.
At least it stayed longer this time.

Finally, it left. I tried to catch it but it was gone before the knowing.

I suppose I can’t complain. It never really hurt me
and it didn’t do anything I could call unfair.
Still I have this regret, this sense of loss,
as if there was something more I could have done,
something better.
something stronger.

It will come again in a week or month or so.
Maybe then I will get inside.
Maybe then I can touch it.

Here we go again!

Here’s a fun fact. I have the mystic ability to find journals written by folks I know without actually looking for them. I found another pal of mine’s online, just by playing in some states I thought would be fun to read. Fortuantely, this time I didn’t see anything that would cause me any consternation this time, so I now know where to tread away from… for what it’s worth, if mine is being read by them, I’m not hiding anything, so feel free to read and comment. 🙂 Still, if you want something to be *PRIVATE* try not to post it to the web, ok? I don’t know what sort of synchronicity that drops me into peoples personal stuff, but if you’re broadcasting, expect it to be read by someone, ok? That being said, I wonder if anyone else I know is out here, and I haven’t stumbled over them yet? It seems like something someone would show me, but who knows?